The Gemara (Kesubos 67b) tells the story of Mar Ukva who was accustomed to give tzedakah to a poor man in his neighborhood. Every day he would hide four zuzim in the socket of his door. One day, the pauper was curious to know who was doing him this kindness, and he decided to investigate who this was. That day Mar Ukva was delayed in the Bais Medrash and when he left his wife accompanied him. As they approached the poor man’s house near the door of his house, the pauper saw them and went out after them to see them. Mar Ukva and his wife ran away with the pauper chasing after them. They passed a hot oven and they both hid inside it and Mar Ukva’s feet were burned. The Gemara asks, ‘Why did they go to such lengths?’ That is, why did they have to run away and place themselves in danger by hiding in an oven? The Gemara answers, ‘It is better that a person should surrender himself to a fiery furnace then shame his fellow in public.’
In our parsha, when the Torah counts Bnei Yisrael according to their tribes and families, they are mentioned in a strange way (26:5): 'חנוך משפחת החנוכי' – ‘Chanoch, the Chanoch family’, and Rashi explains, Since the nations would humiliate Bnei Yisrael, and say, “Why do these trace their ancestry by their tribes? Are they under the impression that the Egyptians did not have their way with their mothers? If the Egyptians ruled over their bodies how much more is it true that they ruled over their wives!” This is why HaKadosh Baruch Hu placed His Name upon them with the letter ה on one side and the letter י on the other side, to say, “I testify about them that they are the children of their fathers.
From these words we can understand how much HaKadosh Baruch Hu suffers when one of Israel is shamed, and it does not matter who it is, if we are speaking of a Jew, HaKadosh Baruch Hu places His seal with his name, saying, ‘I take responsibility that he is kosher’, then who will shame him. We see the same thing in the beginning of the parsha (25:11), 'פנחס בן אלעזר בן אהרן הכהן' – ‘Pinchas son of Elazar son of Aharon HaKohen’, also there Rashi explains, ‘Because the tribes were humiliating him, “Did you see this son of Puti whose mother’s father fattened calves for idolatry, yet he killed the prince of a tribe of Israel!” This is why the Torah comes and traces his ancestry to Aharon.’ If Mar Ukva was so careful so as not to embarrass a Jew with the tzedakah he was giving him, how much more so do we need to be careful not to shame any Jew, especially now in these days of Bain Hametzorim – The Three Weeks when we certainly need to be extra careful. May it be His will that we speedily merit the geulah shleimah – complete redemption and the building of the Bais HaMikdash.
-Tiv HaTorah - Pinchas
