As we enter Chodesh Tamuz and begin the period that leads into the Three Weeks, it is worthwhile to reflect on one of the primary causes of the Churban. Chazal teach that although the generation of the second Beis Hamikdash excelled in Torah and mitzvos, the Beis Hamikdash was nevertheless destroyed because of sinas chinam. If we wish to participate in rebuilding what was lost, we must strengthen the opposite middah of ahavas Yisroel.
Consider the following: Suppose elderly parents are approaching their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Their children decide to arrange a special celebration. They gather together every child, grandchild, and great-grandchild. Imagine the joy and nachas the parents would experience simply by looking around the room and seeing the generations that emerged from them. What greater source of happiness could there be?
This idea sheds light on a difficult episode in Parshas Vayeishev. After Yosef disappeared, Yaakov Avinu was inconsolable. The Torah tells us, "Vayakumu kol banav v'chol benosav l'nachamo, vayima'en l'hisnachem" - all his sons and daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted.
The Ohr Hachaim asks, What exactly did Yaakov's children say to comfort him? The Torah does not record any words of consolation. The Ohr Hachaim explains that they may not have said anything at all. Rather, they gathered together before their father. They hoped that the sight of his large family would bring him comfort. Their message was obvious: True, one son is missing, but look at the beautiful family you have built. Look at your children, grandchildren, and descendants. Look at the future of Klal Yisroel that has emerged from you.
Yet Yaakov Avinu rejected this comfort. Why? Because for a parent, one child can never be replaced by another. A parent may have many children, but every child is unique. Every child occupies a special place in the parent's heart. Even the presence of many beloved children cannot erase the pain of one missing child. That’s what Yaakov Avinu meant by saying vayimaen l’hisnachem (he refused to be comforted).
A Rav in Eretz Yisroel once quoted this Ohr Hachaim and added a powerful idea. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is also a Father. Every Yid is His child. We refer to Him constantly as "Avinu Av HaRachaman." Therefore, just as Yaakov Avinu refused to be comforted when one child was missing, so too Hashem refuses to be comforted when even one of His children is distant from Him.
Baruch Hashem, there are countless yeshivos, kollelim, and beautiful Torah families. Yet as long as Jews remain disconnected from Torah and mitzvos, Hashem still feels the pain of a missing child. The Rav related this thought in shul between Minchah and Maariv. Unbeknownst to him, a secular neighbor who rarely attended shul happened to be present because he was observing a yahrtzeit. The Rav had tried many times to influence this man, but nothing had ever succeeded. After hearing the vort, the man approached the Rav with tears in his eyes. "Do you really mean that Hashem cares about me?" he asked. "Do you mean that Hashem is pained because I don't keep Shabbos and don't live a Torah life?" The Rav answered that this was exactly the point.
The man was overwhelmed. All the arguments and proofs that had previously failed were suddenly unnecessary. The realization that his Father in Heaven still loved him and longed for his return touched something deep within his soul. In time, he became a complete baal teshuvah.
Maybe this is one of the greatest lessons of the Three Weeks. The Churban was caused by sinas chinam because sinas chinam means forgetting the value of another yid. It means viewing another person as insignificant, expendable, or unimportant. The Ohr Hachaim teaches the opposite lesson. Every Yid matters. Every Yid is precious. Every Yid is irreplaceable.
Rav Elya Lopian once illustrated this with a moving mashal. During the war, a child suffering from severe malnutrition became so weak that he could no longer recognize his own friends. Eventually he failed to recognize his brothers. Finally, he looked at his own father and asked, "Who are you?" The father broke down in tears and replied, "My child, I am your father." Rav Elya explained that spiritual starvation can produce a similar result. A Jew who is deprived of Torah, tefillah, and mitzvos may become so spiritually malnourished that he no longer recognizes his Father in Heaven.
When we encounter such a yid, our reaction should not be anger or rejection. It should be compassion. He is not an enemy. He is a brother who is spiritually hungry. As we enter the days of Tamuz and prepare to mourn the Churban, let us remember that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because Yidden became separated from one another. If every Yid is precious to Hashem, then every Yid must be precious to us as well.
May we strengthen our ahavas Yisroel, care about every member of Klal Yisroel, and help bring all of Hashem's children closer to their Father in Heaven. In that zechus, may we zoiche the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash במהרה בימינו.
