There is a famous comment of the Da’as Zekeinim m’Baalei haTosfos that appears in Sefer Bereishis.
There is a census in this week’s parsha that enumerates the various families of the Jewish nation. One pasuk (verse) contains the phrase, “Yoshuv of the family of Yoshuvi” (Bamidbar 26:24). Yoshuv was one of the sons of Yissocher. However, in Parshas Vayigash, where the descendants of the shevatim (tribes) who went down to Mitzraim are listed, there is no such son of Yissocher listed. However, there is a son of Yissocher listed named Yov (Bereishis 46:13).
The Da’as Zekeinim makes the following enigmatic comment. There is a controversy as to how the name Yissocher (which is spelled with a double letter ‘sin’) is pronounced. Do we pronounce both ‘sin’s (Yissoscher) or just one of them (Yissocher)? Prior to Parshas Pinchas, where Yissoscher’s son is always called by the name Yov (without an extra ‘sin’), we pronounce Yissascher with both ‘sin’s. Starting here in Parshas Pinchas, we pronounce Yissocher, as if it were written with only one ‘sin’. What happened?
The chachomim say that Yov complained to his father that he had the same name as an idol and he did not like the name. Therefore, his father took a ‘sin’ from his own name and gave it to his son, whose name became Yashuv. From this point forward, we read Yissocher’s name with a single ‘sin’.
Rav Gifter quotes a simple question (from Rav Chaim Elezari). Why was this necessary? We do not need a ‘donor’ in order to add a letter. Why couldn’t any letter or name be added without removing it from someone else?
Rav Gifter says that the answer is obvious. This is a father who is trying to protect his son. Has there ever been a father who spared anything to guarantee that his son was protected? That is what parenting is all about. Nothing concerns us like the welfare of our children. “I am not going to rely on just any old ‘sin’ from the Aleph-bais. I am not sure that just any ‘sin’ will do the trick. I am giving you MY ‘sin’. My name will be different. My name will be lacking something and so will I. But that does not concern me in the least – because I am a father and my son’s welfare is all that counts! I insist on giving you the very best letter – one that comes straight from my name – to make sure that you are protected.” That is a father and that is love.
The gematria (numeric value using system of ascribing numeric values to Hebrew letters) of ‘ahavah’ (love) is 13 (1+5+2+5).
The gematria of ‘da’agah’ (worry) is also 13 (4+1+3+5). Ahavah = Da’agah (Love = Worry). Every parent can appreciate this gematria. Being a parent means losing sleep, caring and worrying. It means looking at the clock, going to the window, and pulling the curtain. Why aren’t they home yet? Why haven’t they called?
Ahavah = Da’agah. This is what parenthood is all about.
