9. The Chasam Sofer said that whoever mourns over the Beis HaMikdash during the Three Weeks will merit good children.
10. According to its simple meaning, the pasuk discusses our troubles in galus. The goyim pursue and persecute us, and we have nowhere to escape. It is like there is a boundary on both sides of the road (בין המצרים), and we have nowhere to run. Rashi adds that bein hametzarim can also refer to the days between the 17th of Tamuz and Tisha b'Av. At the time of the Churban, between these two metzarim, times of grief, the Jewish nation suffered greatly.
In particular, we should mourn the churban Beis HaMikdash during the Three Weeks. The Magen Avraham (551:45) writes, "The Arizal taught that one should mourn during these days [of the Three Weeks] after midday and cry for around a half-hour." Generally, Tikun Chatzos is said after midnight, but these days, it can also be recited in the afternoon.
In the Chasam Sofer's yeshiva, during the Three Weeks, they would recite Tikun Chatzos together and mourn the churban every afternoon. Generally, the tzaddik, Reb Fishel Sofer zy'a, was the chazzan, and he would cry bitterly as he said it. One day, Reb Fishel wasn't in yeshiva, and a young bachur with a sweet voice was chosen to lead Tikun Chatzos. This bachur didn’t cry; his recitation sounded more like a yom tov tefillah than kinos. When he finished, the Chasam Sofer said, "We must verify whether this bachur doesn't belong to Shabtai Tzvi's sr'y group. Because how can one relate to the churban Beis HaMikdash with such ease and comfort?"
During the Three Weeks, a certain tzaddik visited the Sfas Emes of Gur zt'l. "What brings you here?" the Sfas Emes asked. "I know that you live very far away from here!" "My family's tradition is to travel during the Three Weeks," the tzaddik explained. "Hashem is, kivayachol, in galus, so it is our custom to go into galus during this period." The Sfas Emes replied, "The main thing is to remember that we aren't home." The Sfas Emes rarely traveled, but he frequently reminded himself that he wasn’t home. We aren't where we ought to be. This realization should never leave our consciousness.
Close to Hashem
It states (Eichah 1:3) המצרים בין השיגוה רודפיה כל, "all her pursuers overtook her between the boundaries."
The Koznitzer Magid zt'l (Avodas Yisrael, Avos 2:14) writes that רודפיה כל means ה-י רודף כל, whoever pursues Hashem השיגוה, can attain a connection with Hashem, המצרים בין, during Bein HaMetzarim. During these days, it is easier for a person to become close to Hashem than the rest of the year.
Interestingly, it is different from what we would assume. We think that during these days of mourning, we are distant from Hashem when, in fact, it is during this time of year that we have the greatest potential to become close to Hashem.
He brings a hint to this from the pasuk (Shemos 3:14) ה-אהי אשר ה-אהי. The gematria of ה-אהי is 21. Thus, the pasuk can be translated as ה-אהי; Hashem says, "I will be with the Jewish nation ה-אהי אשר during the 21 days of Bein HaMetzarim."
Why is it easier to become close to Hashem these days? The Koznitzer Magid explains with a mashal:
"When a king is in his palace, it is hard for people to reach him. Guards surround the king and keep people from coming near. And if he is granted an audience with the king, he must present the king with a precious gift. But when the king is traveling, it is easy to get to the king, and even a small present will be considered in the king's eyes like a large gift. He will accept it with a happy countenance, and this is because he is traveling. Therefore, the Tana says שקוד הוי תורה ללמוד. iהוי is gematria 21. This hints at the 21 days of Bein HaMatzerim." The Three Weeks is a time for Torah study, a time to come closer to Hashem.
The Joy of Mourning
When one mourns the Beis HaMikdash, he draws an element of it to himself. The Beis HaMikdash was a place filled with joy, as we sing in the Shabbos zemiros, תוב למקדשך ונפשין רוחין יחדון ביה די אתר קודשין ולקדש, "Return to the Beis HaMikdash and to the Kodesh Kadoshim, a place where the souls rejoice" and with his mourning, he draws this immense joy to himself.
Some people are afraid to mourn because they don’t want to be sad, failing to realize that mourning results in the greatest joy. Shulchan Aruch (554:25) states, על המתאבל כל בשמחתה ורואה זוכה ירושלים, "Whoever mourns over Yerushalayim merits and sees in its joy." ורואה זוכה is written in the present tense. The Kedushas Levi and other sefarim explain that when one mourns the Beis HaMikdash, he immediately experiences the joy of redemption. The Kedushas Levi (Eichah) writes, "When one thinks about holiness and mourns Yerushalayim, he immediately perceives an element of the joy of Yerushalayim, of how it will be in the future."
At a chasunah, we break a glass under the chuppah, we say the brachah תשיש שוש – a tefillah for the geulah, and the chassan wears ashes on his head, etc. These customs help us remember Yerushalayim and the Beis HaMikdash. The Sfas Emes (Ki Savo 5653) explains that the purpose of these customs isn’t to get us to mourn at a wedding; rather, they perfect the joy of the chasunah. We want the joy of the chasunah to be complete, but how can any happiness be complete in galus? So, we mourn, and the mourning draws the light and the joy of the era of Moshiach, which completes the joy of the chasunah.
The Sfas Emes writes, "At every simchah, one must remember the Beis HaMikdash... When the Beis HaMikdash stood, the simchah was complete. Today, we merit this simchah through mourning and yearning for the Beis HaMikdash. As it states (Yeshayah 66:10) שישו עליה המתאבלים כל משוש אתה, 'exult her in exultation, all you who mourned for her.' ... Through his mourning, he will merit the joy of Yerushalayim."
