When the Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoel Teitelbaum ztl, would hold his Friday night tish in shul with all the chassidim gathered there, his Rebbetzin would light the Shabbos candles on Erev Shabbos in the shul, since she always lit the candles wherever the Rebbe ate the Shabbos seudah.
One week the Rebbe wasn't feeling well, and the rebbetzin lit the candles in the house, as the Rebbe would be eating there. The next week, the Rebbetzin again prepared to light the candles in the house. But the Rebbe said he felt better and would like to eat in the shul and make the regular Tish. But the Rebbetzin said to the Rebbe, "You are still not fully well, and I don't want you making a Tish. I will light in the house, and you can eat the Shabbos seudah here and get better."
The Rebbe didn't reply, as if he agreed. The conversation was over. The Rebbe's gabbai was there, thinking to himself, "The Rebbe was one of the strongest people he knew. He wasn't afraid to speak up or stand by what he believed was right. He had thousands of chassidim, and yet there the Rebbetzin was telling the Rebbe what to do!"
The Rebbe saw the expression on his face and, as if he read his thoughts, explained with his famous humor and wisdom. "Who do you think won the argument?" The Rebbe asked. "The Rebbetzin? No! I won, because I was the one who gave in!"
What's The Lesson?
Who is really strong? The one who is strong enough to know when not to fight or argue back. In life, and now for those in summer camps playing sports or certain activities, you wanted it one way; remember, it takes strength to give in! (Remember, sometimes one must be strong, if giving in will affect them in a really bad or dangerous way.)
This Connects To This Week's Parshah:
Pinchas put his life in danger by standing up to stop others from sinning. Sometimes one must be strong enough to stand up for what is right, but not everyone is given such a great opportunity to risk their life for Hashem. But there are still small acts of mesiras nefesh that one can do every day, ones that others may never know about, known just to you and Hashem. Like a person who wants to share some lashon hara or say a sharp word, but chooses to stay quiet. This, too, is counted as doing something great! (based on R' Shimshon Pincus zt"l). Remember, it takes real strength to give in!
