The Meforshim ask why we are commanded: צָרוֹר אֶת הַמִּדְיָנִים to despise only the Midyanim and not the Mo'avim? The Chizkuni says that the Mo'avim had an excuse, since they were worried that we would wage a war against them, and also because we took their land away from Sichon. We see that there are some Yetzer Hara’s that we are מְסֻגָּל (cut out) to conquer (symbolized by Midyan) and we have to go in an all-out war to destroy them. צָרוֹר אֶת הַמִּדְיָנִים וְהִכִּיתֶם אוֹתָם! Hate! And destroy them without Rachmanus! On the other hand, there is a Passuk in Mishlei: לֹא יָבוּזוּ לַגַּנָּב כִּי יִגְנוֹב לְמִלֵּא נַפְשׁוֹ כִּי יִרְעָב. You can’t have Taynos on a Ganav who is dying from starvation.
You can’t have Taynos on a person who can’t learn because he was up with the baby last night. Or a person who has all kinds of mental blocks, and his focusing suffers. And he isn’t as careful with watching his eyes, since he’s a depressive or anxiety-ridden person. Or a person who has horrific Nisyonos in Ka'as since he has a difficult life.
Even if he’s exaggerating his problems, he’s only human. And although he should still try and work on himself, you simply can’t be tough on him and demand more כְּבִישַׁת הַיֵּצֶר control over his Yetzer Hara. So every person has to always have a “צָרוֹר אֶת הַמִּדְיָנִים destroy the Midyanim” mode, to fight tooth and nail what he’s capable of overcoming, and have a Mo'av mode; i.e. no demanding what’s presently beyond your reach.
