In the early 1980’s, R’ Paysach Diskind and his grandfather, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, zt”l, enjoyed a few weeks each summer at Camp Ohr Shraga in the Catskills. Paysach cherished the hours he spent learning with his grandfather each day.
One morning, Rav Yaakov informed Paysach that he would not be able to learn with him the following day, as he would be attending a berit milah in Brooklyn. He planned to leave camp that evening, have someone drive him to Monsey, New York, where he would spend the night, and then wake up early the next morning to travel to Brooklyn for the milah.
“Whose bris are you going to?” asked Paysach.
“I am going to a bris for a baby who was born to a family who are gerim (converts). I really do not know the family well, but since I was asked to be sandak, I feel that it is only proper that I should go,” said R’ Yaakov.
Paysach was stunned. His grandfather was almost ninety years old and in poor health. Why would he plan a long trip to attend the simchah of a family he barely knew? Paysach asked his grandfather to elaborate.
Rav Yaakov explained. “Initially, when the father of this baby called me and asked me to be sandak, I told him to ask his own Rabbi. The man told me that his Rabbi was Rav Avigdor Miller, and that he had already called him before calling me. Rabbi Miller had suggested that since the father knew me, albeit slightly, he should ask me to be sandak. If, however, it would be difficult for me to attend, he would feel privileged to accept this honor.
“Well,” continued Rav Yaakov, “had anyone else asked me to be sandak, I would have certainly declined. I would have insisted that they ask their own Rabbi, as traditionally the honor of sandak goes to one’s own Rabbi. However, this man might not understand protocol, as he was not born Jewish. He might be confused and slighted as to why his Rabbi would send him to me, only to have me send him back to his Rabbi. In the back of his mind, he would believe that he was getting the ‘royal run-around,’ that no one really wanted to be sandak for his child because he is a ger. I cannot let him think this. In this situation, I must accept, even if it is difficult for me.”
Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky
Rav Yaakov put the feelings of this family ahead of his own comfort. Unquestionably, his actions made this family proud to be part of such a special Jewish nation. (For Goodness’ Sake)
Reprinted from the Parashat Pinhas 5785 email of Rabbi David Bibi’s Shabbat Shalom from Cyberspace.
