Take a good look at yourself Everyone has felt it. The phantom ring of the cell phone.
It might be Shabbos or any time when you are sure that you’re not carrying your phone with you, but yet you feel or hear a vibrating device, if only for a moment. Or maybe you were somewhere without a phone, perhaps you forgot it or (Heaven forbid) lost it. Uh oh, no phone. You can’t entertain yourself digitally. What are you to do with all this free time?
But alas, our time is not free, far from it. Our time is not even ours. We are slaves to the device. The truth is we are uneasy and uncomfortable without our phone. Amazing, but easily explainable. When you don’t want to deal with your issues- distraction is king. If our generation has a credo, it must be we cannot ever be alone with our thoughts, with ourselves.
To some of us, the idea of being alone with ourselves and not being able to “talk digitally with our friends” is horrifying, terrifying. When did all this happen? It’s not only our phones. Any distraction, anything that entertains us when we are “alone” It could be a husband or wife that works crazy long hours. or any other addictions r”l. They all have one common denominator: they help us run away from ourselves.
Now to be sure, recreation is necessary and healthy. All work and no play makes Yaakov a dull boy. To keep ourselves from burning out we must engage in healthy activities. But the question here is, and everyone knows it's about time we asked: Are we afraid to spend time with ourselves? We have to work hard to truly confront our challenges, and living in this pampered generation has made us all weaker and infinitely less patient with ourselves and those around us.
Real growth only occurs when there is resistance, correction and discovery, when we change old habits- instead of constantly giving in to them. As the Maharal observed, a seed which does not break, remaining whole and beautiful without cracking open; it cannot bring forth a tree or any growing matter. We spend our valuable time running away from ourselves to swim in the pleasurable sea of technology. It’s constant, day and night. We all have challenges to confront, pain to deal with. Not everything is fine. But we choose the narcotic of not knowing, not seeking and not caring, over the painful albeit fulfilling tour of our inner lives. But we really can’t be blamed; inner work is difficult. But can only be accomplished when we turn down the static of our technological “friends.” An action that is easier said than done. None of this self-searching is new.
May we merit to live our lives in a most real and honest way, taking the time to find out who we really are, not hiding behind our devices and our perceived identities.
And may this honesty help us achieve both greatness in our relationships and growth in our spiritual challenges.
- RABBI YAKOV YOSEF SCHECHTER
