We have seen that, in general, the minhag is for the chosson and kallah to drink the wine under the chuppah, and not the mesader kiddushin or the one honored with the first brochah of sheva brochos.
However, there are those who hold that the mesader kiddushin should, in fact, drink some of the wine. The Sdei Chemed writes that the minhag is for the mesader kiddushin to drink some of the wine and adds that he does not know why there should be anything wrong with him drinking some of the wine, to resolve the issue. The sefer Piskei Teshuvah (Siman 166) also quotes the Imrei Emes, who would drink some of the wine when he was the mesader kiddushin.
There is a source for this in the Rishonim as well. This is the opinion of the Maasei Roke’ach, quoting a teshuvah written by Rav Avraham ben HaRambam, as well as the Machzor Vitri (470), written by a talmid of Rashi, and the Rokeach (351).
The sefer Afikei Yam (2:2) writes that the following was the custom of Rav Chaim Brisker: he would let some wine drip into his hand, and he would drink that wine in a way that no one would notice. However, the Brisker Rav is quoted as saying that he is not aware of this custom of his father, and in Brisk, they do not follow this practice.
Similarly, Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld is quoted as saying that the practice of Rav Shmuel Salant, the Rav of Yerushalayim, was to drink some of the wine. But since the minhag is not to, Rav Sonnenfeld would tell the chosson and kallah to be yotzei with his brochah, but he would also let some wine drip into his hand, and he would drink that wine.
We have thus seen that there are different opinions whether the mesader kiddushin needs to drink some of the wine or if it is sufficient for only the chosson and kallah to drink the wine.
HOW MUCH TO DRINK?
The Be’er Sheva (Maftei’ach for Siman 49) writes that the minhag was for the chosson to drink just a small amount. The Be’er Sheva takes issue with this minhag, since a kos shel brochah requires one to drink at least a cheek full. He therefore writes emphatically that one who fears the word of Hashem should drink a full revi’is. However, the Kneses Hagdolah writes that the minhag is, in fact, for the chosson to just drink a small amount. This is quoted by the Be’er Heitev (34:6) in his glosses to the Shulchan Aruch.
Once again, we find this subject addressed in regard to the drinking of the wine used at a bris. The Beis Yosef writes (Y”D 265), in the name of the Rashba, that although for Kiddush, one must drink a cheek full, drinking just a little of the wine used at a bris suffices.
The Ta z (Y”D 265:10) explains that only when there is a requirement in the Gemara to recite the brochah over wine, one must drink a cheek full. But, if it is only a later institution, drinking just a little of the wine suffices.
The Aruch Hashulchan and the Maharsham also concur with this reasoning that, since reciting these brochos over a cup of wine is not a requirement mentioned in the Gemara, they are not as strict as Kiddush and Havdalah, and it is sufficient to drink just a small amount.
The Maharsham adds another reason not to drink too much. One of the reasons a chosson fasts is to ensure that his mind is clear at the time that he is making the kiddushin, and there should not be any possibility that he was drunk when making the kiddushin. Hence, he should not consume a lot of wine on an empty stomach, which can cause his mind to be unclear.
However, the Shevet Halevi (8:277) is of the opinion that, since according to the Rosh, reciting the brochah over wine is obligatory, one should drink at least a cheek full, and preferably a revi’is. The sefer Yismach Lev also quotes Rav Chaim Kanievsky, who recommends drinking a revi’is.
IN CONCLUSION
According to many poskim, the mesader kiddushin does not have to drink at all, and it is enough for the chosson to drink just a little of the wine.
RABBI NACHUM SCHEINER
