Feelings of Despair
Another approach of the yetzer hara is to instill in a person a sense of despair that will prevent him from doing teshuvah. He wants to do teshuvah, of course he wants to—but he doesn’t see the possibility of success. Given that this is a plot from the yetzer hara, from the side of darkness, we must fight it with light. It is true that if HaKadosh Baruch Hu won’t help a person, he could never be victorious—and this must be the feeling of a person. If a person feels inadequate, it is because it is indeed difficult. This is how people are to feel when they approach doing teshuvah. A person’s ingrained habits are difficult to shake off. He has tried to wean off them many times, but it didn’t happen. He claims, “It’s too hard... you don’t understand my nature, my problems, my personality....” That’s all true. If Hashem doesn’t help, it’s indeed impossible. But what happens when Hashem does help? It is always this way. Whenever a person succeeds in doing teshuvah, letting go of his old ways—it is a miracle above nature.
If we would only think for a moment about how many ba’alei teshuvah exist in our times. Isn’t it an outright miracle?! In a world such as ours, an utterly materialistic world...people can abandon everything in favor of Torah and mitzvos! They abandon their old lives, and, more importantly, their old habits, and they become true ba’alei teshuvah. Thousands of people! Isn’t this an incredible miracle.
When we say that teshuvah preceded the creation of the world, it means that HaKadosh Baruch Hu instilled the power that is in teshuvah to be greater than everything else in creation. Thus, when we ask Hashem for assistance in teshuvah, we are asking Him to perform a miracle for us—to raise us up from the depths in a manner that we can’t even comprehend. It is among the tenets of emunah and bitachon that a person should feel he is asking for a miracle—for if he thinks he can do it alone, he is having bitachon in himself. One must feel that it is Hashem Who is performing a miracle for him, above nature.
