Hashem set up the world in such a way as to give us constant opportunities to give to others in need of our assistance. This week’s parshah tells us that we should always be givers, providing them with their needs. The giving itself isn’t actually enough, however — the passuk tells us, “And your heart shall not be grieved when you give.”
Commenting on this passuk, the Shinever Rav ztz”l stresses that the financial assistance we give isn’t enough either, as we have to give of ourselves too, “being there” for the person, empathizing with their plight, and so forth.
While this is a challenge, it’s one that, interestingly, many people face successfully when it comes to people beyond the family circle. For some reason, it’s usually easier to “be there emotionally” for the poor man on the street, or a neighbor in crisis, than it is for one’s own spouse or children. What we must come to realize is that our obligation to do chesed begins at home and our closest relatives come first in the order of priorities. While we probably do more for our loved ones than we do for others, the way in which we do it needs to be right as well.
Chazal quote the passuk, “Oseh tzedakah bechol eis—One who engages in tzedakah the entire time,” and explain it as referring to those who “provide for all the needs of their wife and children.” While it’s of course commendable to give to all those who request our aid, it’s the people who live with us and depend on us who we should be focused on.
