We know that at times, it is permitted to say a falsehood to keep or create peace (Mutar L'Shanos Mipnei HaShalom). What follows is a famous story that illustrates the foregoing beautifully.
The parents of a child with special needs approached Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach ZT”L for guidance on institutionalizing their son, who was causing unbearable difficulties for the family and the community. The mother was initially reluctant, wanting to keep her child at home. Rav Shlomo Zalman gently convinced the mother that the institution could provide the best care for the boy, benefiting him, his parents, and the community.
However, a crucial detail concerned Rav Shlomo Zalman: the child's feelings about being institutionalized. The parents questioned whether that mattered given his significant cognitive impairment. Rav Shlomo Zalman countered that regardless of his condition, the boy should not feel abandoned or betrayed.
Accordingly, Rav Shlomo Zalman devised a plan. He spoke to the boy, Akiva, introducing himself as the "Gadol Hador" and informing him that he was being appointed as his representative in the special school. The Rav even bestowed a symbolic "Semichah" upon the boy, emphasizing his important role as a rabbi in his new home.
Rav Shlomo Zalman permitted himself to tell a lie by applying the principle of Mutar L’Shanos Mipnei HaShalom so that the boy would not feel abandoned or betrayed by being institutionalized. In fact, there may be no better example of this application as there was much Shalom created on that and many subsequent days. The boy, feeling empowered as Rav Sholom Zalman’s emissary, enthusiastically embraced his new role in his new home. He helped other residents with tasks like putting on Tefillin and ensuring that Kashrus was kept. This sense of purpose and engagement led to continued improvement in his mental health and well-being.
