One should distance himself from foolishness, silliness, and frivolity, and also from anger, because it confuses a person’s spirit and mind. One should constantly serve his Maker with love. One should not fail to carry out a single detail of this directive. Rav Moshe Sternbuch writes that if one is constantly always making jokes and being silly, he is not a serious person, and he does not have the yoke of accepting Hashem’s Kingship over him.
Rav Shach, zt”l, when teaching about the obligation for one to distance themselves from levity and light-heartedness, would often tell over the following amazing story that took place with Rav Akiva Eiger, zt”l. A Shidduch once came up for Rav Akiva Eiger’s son, and Rav Akiva Eiger traveled with his son to the Kallah’s house to see if the Shidduch was appropriate. After meeting and everything seemed fine to proceed and allow the couple to get engaged, Rav Akiva Eiger asked the Kallah’s father if his son, the Chasan, was favorable to him to have as a son-in-law. The father answered, “If only the father of the Chasan found as much favor in my eyes as the Chasan does!” The ‘father of the Chasan’, Rav Akiva Eiger, was the Gadol HaDor, and due to his great humility, he took the words seriously. He asked the Kallah’s father, “Why is it that I have not found favor in your eyes? It is just the opposite! If you have found any problems with me, please tell me what they are, because I am prepared to correct them!” The Kallah’s father quickly answered, “There is no problem! I was just joking!” Rav Akiva Eiger’s face turned white when he heard these words, and he said, “If that is so, my son is about to become the son-in-law to a clown, and I am not looking for a Shidduch like that for him!” Rav Akiva Eiger then left the house with his son, and the Shidduch was canceled. Rav Shach taught that this is how far being strict with joking words goes. He said, “Today, it is quite common for people poke fun at others and actually ruin their lives, and afterward say they were ‘only joking’. In Yiddishkeit, there is no place for this. Rav Akiva Eiger was a Kadosh, a very holy individual, and he was not able to deal with someone who was ‘just joking’!”
