Sharp Rise in Axe Sharpening

As they approach the border of the Land of Canaan, the People of Israel are preparing to annihilate, destroy, demolish, eliminate, obliterate and totally wipe out any trace of idol-worship in the Holy Land.

Axe sharpening kiosks have sprung up at the border in recent days, as thousands ready themselves to smash the many idol-worship sites they expect to encounter.

“My axe is sharpened and ready to swing,” said Asher Smasher, a member of the tribe of Yehudah. “Gods of gold, silver, stone and wood...your day has come!”