THE FOUNDATION OF A JEWISH HOME
SHIDDUCH: To someone who needed help to decide.
... Regarding your doubts: Consider how a physical house is built: Even though its externals are beautified, what is of primary importance is that it be built on a strong foundation, using strong materials that are appropriate for the people who must live in it and not just for the sake of appearance to passersby in the street.
How much more so should these principles apply to building a Jewish home. Of primary importance is that it be built on a strong foundation of Torah... for the Torah is called “THE TORAH OF LIFE.” In simple words, that name implies that the Torah provides a way of life for one’s day-to-day affairs.
What a passerby in the street thinks about the external beauty of the home is entirely secondary. True, human nature is such that whether a person is happy with his portion or not is often measured against such opinions*. Nevertheless, ultimately, these are secondary matters when compared to the primary ones mentioned above. ...
chabad.org/therebbe/letters/The most important elements to seek in a shidduch
* Worried about what people would think
