1. What were the Yidden supposed to do to the idols that they find in Eretz Kenaan?
A. Smash them. In the face. Till they’re gone.
B. Take 10 minutes off their swimming activity.
C. Tuck your idols in and read them a bedtime story.
D. Carefully put the idols in the Museum of National History.
2. What is the purpose of the Bais HaMikdash?
A. It’s the best steakhouse in town.
B. It’s a house built for Hashem where we can serve Hashem and bring Him korbanos.
C. It was a magnificent attraction commissioned by the ancient Tourism Board.
D. It was where the Levi’im went to sing and play music if their neighbors complained that they were too loud.
3. How must a kosher animal be prepared so we can eat it?
A. With BBQ sauce.
B. In order for it to be kosher enough to eat it must be thoroughly cooked.
C. It must be shechted, checked, and then salted to remove all the blood.
D. The animal hires a motivational coach to get him ready for the big day.
4. What do we do to a Navi Sheker (false prophet)?
A. Banish him to Antarctica.
B. Make him listen to annoying music until he screams in pain.
C. Put scary spiders and roller coasters into his dreams.
D. Bais Din puts him to death.
5. How can we tell he is a false prophet?
A. Just ask him. He wouldn’t lie, would he?
B. If his name is Navi Sheker. That’s a pretty strong clue (and an unfortunate name).
C. If he prophesies in the name of a false god or tells you to go against the Torah.
D. If he can’t pronounce a tongue twister without a mistake, (such as ‘Unique New York’ x10).
6. How can you tell that a yak is kosher?
A. If it chews it hooves and splits its cud.
B. Isn’t that a type of sweet potato...?
C. Fins and scales.
D. Split hooves and chews its cud.
7. How do we know that a cormorant ( ָלָשּׁ ) is not kosher?
A. The Torah clearly tells that us that in this Parsha.
B. Trick question: it’s actually kosher.
C. It’s a type of flying sheep.
D. Because it has split gills AND it chews it’s gizzard.
8. When are we allowed to cook meat and milk together?
A. Never
B. Only if you salted the meat to remove all the fat.
C. If you add lemon juice to the milk and it curdles into cheese.
(I’m not sure if that helps at all but it’s interesting)
D. Only on Tu Bishvat.
9. What do you call the portion of your harvest that goes to a Levi?
A. Ma’aser Lenny
B. Terumas Hadeshen
C. Teruah
D. Ma’aser
10. How do we celebrate Sukkos?
A. Shake a bundle of roses.
B. Make sure to light 8 matzos every day to remember the miracle that happened to Ester and Mordechai on Lag Baomer.
C. Live in a Sukka for 7 days.
D. Eat bread dipped in wasabi while sitting in a schach.
