In this week’s parshah we learn the laws of giving tzedakah to those in need and are warned not to close our hearts to their requests. We are commanded to give them what they lack, even when we personally think that it’s superfluous.
The Sokolover Rebbe explains that when a person approaches us for help, the fact that he feels forced to beg is enough reason to have rachmanus on him for his vulnerability and provide him with what he is asking for, regardless of how much he truly needs it. We should bear in mind that it’s not easy for a person to admit that he isn’t managing to take care of his own needs and to turn to others for assistance.
Within families, children sometimes need to ask a parent for help, or one spouse makes a request of the other — and it isn’t always easy to make oneself vulnerable and admit to a need or a lack. Whenever you’re the one being asked for help, remember that it can be hard for the person to open up and admit that he’s needy. You don’t always have to provide exactly what they’re asking for, but remembering how hard it is to show vulnerability will color how you relate to them and can only improve your relationship with them.
Even if you feel that you shouldn’t be giving what is being asked for, it’s still important to respond to a request with validation and sensitivity. Turning down a request too quickly can affect how (or whether) this person will open up to you again.
