Similarly, bein adam la’chaveiro is a cornerstone of shalom bayis. By practicing bein adam la’chaveiro regarding one's real “friend”, his spouse, he brings the Shechinah into his home. When each spouse cares for the other this brings down Hashem's berachah and the Shechinah dwells among them. Many couples suffer from a lack of shalom bayis, and the following story can shed light on an essential solution.
R’ Eliezer Parkoff relates that he read an article by an Orthodox marriage counselor (Mrs. Sarah Karmely) in which she related an incident regarding a woman whose marriage was beginning to sour. When she first married, life went relatively smoothly, and only became that much better when she gave birth to her first child. Delighted and eager to build a family, she and her husband were overjoyed when the child was born. It was not too long thereafter that she in fact was expecting her second child. But then life changed.
Suddenly losing his job, her husband was out of work and understandably troubled. With little money to provide for his family, his marriage life began to suffer. Tension and arguments became commonplace in the home and matters went from bad to worse. Continuing to search for work, after much time and effort, he finally found a job working at a construction site.
But their relationship within the home did not become any better. As the wife became quite upset and frustrated with life in general, she began despising her husband. Angry both at her husband and Hashem, she became less religious and contemplated running away from her husband. But already with one child and carrying another, she was reluctant to take such a drastic move.
She decided she would go speak to a local Rebbitzen. Perhaps, she thought, she could help her pull through everything. Sitting together with the Rebbetzin, she began to pour out her heart. “Is my marriage over? I don’t love my husband and I want to leave. What should I do?” Gently looking back at her, the Rebbetzin handed her a book.
Reading through the book, she was moved by one particular article which described a family in Yerusholayim with fourteen children in a two-bedroom apartment. Despite the cramped living quarters, the family was happy.
What was their secret? Every morning after breakfast the husband, who owned a Jewish bookstore, left to go to work. As he got up from the table and began to head out the door, his wife followed him. Looking on as her husband began walking away from the house, she placed her hand on the mezuzah.
And then she began to bless him, “Hashem, please take care of my husband, protect him, bless him, give him parnassah (income) and grant him success.” When asked about her practice she answered, “Don’t you know? If a woman blesses her husband, he will have success. If she doesn’t, he will not.”
As she read this anecdote, it suddenly dawned on her. “Why am I being so selfish? My husband is doing the best he can; why should I be upset with him?” And so, she decided to implement into her life what she had read in the book. Every single morning, without fail, as her husband would head out the door to work on his construction site, she placed her hand on the mezuzah and blessed him.
