He can find within himself, at least in a subtle form, the ills that are afflicting us, can he have the ability to teach us how to use Torah as the remedy.
With other types of tumah, Moshe could relate with them in a subtle way at least. Tzora’as for example, although it is much more severe than tumas meis (because a metzorah must reside outside of the entire Jewish camp for the duration of his tzora’as), still, it was something that Moshe could find, in a subtle form in himself (because he, too, had experienced, in his way, והנה ידו מצורעת כשלג).
However, when it came to tumas meis, this was completely beyond him. This is something that doesn’t exist in the world of Moshe. Because Moshe is the level of חכמה, about which it says והחכמה תחי, and his whole essence was life and vitality (to the point that we learn that לא מת משה). Death, the lack of chayus and life, this was something so foreign to Moshe Rabenu that he couldn’t possibly find it in himself, even in the most subtle form. Thus, hearing about this tumah brought about נתכרכמו פניו של משה.
Moshe didn’t know how to relate with a Jew who was associated with death, something completely foreign to Moshe, and he, therefore, did not know how to guide such a Jew to purity. His concern, then, for this Jew, caused him such great distress as to be נתכרכמו פניו של משה.
Sometimes we are confronted with our yetzer hora (sometimes...), sometimes we deal with challenges and difficulties. Sometimes we may succumb to our desires (sometimes...) and behave in a manner that is not befitting of a chosid (or not befitting of a Jew or, sometimes, not even befitting of a human being).
Of course, it’s not good when that happens. But – it’s not the end of the world. The Eibishter created us as human beings, we have our flaws and our failings. Sometimes we err, and we have to correct it, and we have the ability to correct it, to do teshuva, and turn around and return. This is a basic part of Yiddishkeit.
But, that is as long as we are alive.
A living being can go wrong, and then have the ability to correct it, and go back to the right path.
But sometimes we lose that life ch”v. We are just going through the motions, sleepwalking and playacting, there is no neshomo in our Torah or mitzvos. That becomes a serious concern, then it is much more difficult to extricate ourselves. That is what causes – r”l – נתכרכמו פניו של משה. It may be that in actuality we are behaving better than the first person, his actual aveiros may be more severe. But if we are ch”v indifferent, apathetic, disinterested, the path to our recovery becomes much more difficult, this causes the emotional reaction of Moshe Rabenu.
You want to sin – I won’t say it’s good ch”v, but – if you can’t control yourself and you sin, it’s done, now deal with doing teshuva. But even then, you were alive, you were excited about something. Maybe you were excited about the wrong thing, and you need to now find the steps to re-channel that and turn it around.
But not being excited at all, not caring, that is a terrible situation, that seemed overwhelming even to Moshe Rabenu.
But, don’t despair! Ultimately, there is a cure for this as well, and that is the Parsha of Poroh that we read this Shabbos. The solution is Zos Chukas HaTorah. You find yourself losing your enthusiasm, becoming indifferent and unexcited (and, of course, deep down (or, often, not so deep down) it bothers you, which is why you are interested in finding a remedy)? Don’t lose hope. Work on the chukka, on your kabolas ol, on your bitul.
Zos chukas haTorah is the remedy for tumas meis. Remember you are a soldier, and you never lose your ability for kabolas ol (even if, currently it is devoid of inner chayus). When you apply yourself to chukas haTorah, put more effort into bitul and kabolas ol, that is the way to cleanse yourself of the effects of the meis and the tumas meis, of the residual lifelessness, and to restore the neshomo and the ואתם הדבקים 'בה אלקיכם חיים כולכם היום!
L’chaim! May we all take the steps to purify ourselves of our tumas meis, of our lifelessness that stems from our lack of connection with Elokim Chaim, and may the Eibishter, Elokim emess hu Elokim Chaim, bring new life and vitality to the entire world, with the Poroh hoasiris that will be brought by מלך המשיח מהרה יגלה ר"אכי, with the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu NOW!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
!ג"הנרוהנ בטוב ס"וכט הנכונה בריאות מתוך ט"לאויוש ,'שי מרים בן ב"שד לזכות ט"ואויוש ק"לרפושו ,חנה בן אהרן ת"הרה לזכות
