The Chasam Sofer zt'l explains that on Fridays, the yetzer hara works extra hard to get people angry and to put them in a lousy mood to prevent them from receiving Hashem's brachos that descend on Shabbos. Therefore, the Torah obligates us, תבערו לא השבת ביום ...אש, that we should avoid anger on Shabbos.
The pot represents peace as it creates a barrier between two opposing forces. So, we see that, at times, division is beneficial. Also, in the home, often when the husband spends less time in the house on Friday, it can improve the shalom bayis. So, we can explain that the Satan shouted, "Woe! Reb Meir sent גברא ההוא, the husband, out of the house. And if he isn't at home, the yetzer hara won't be able to bring them to machlokes.
The Reishis Chachmah zt'l writes in the name of his teacher, the Remak zt'l, that erev Shabbos, we should prepare large lecht, prepare the bed, and remove all cobwebs from the house. "And I will reveal a secret: These [cobwebs] are the kelipos that try to ruin the shalom bayis."
Reb Moshe Aryeh Freund zt'l (the Rav of Yerushalayim) heard the following story from his father-in-law. His father-in-law and a friend were in the beis hachayim (cemetery) in Lemberg, and they saw a kever, which read, "Here lies the tzaddik nistar, a hidden tzaddik..." It was alongside the kever of the Rav of Lemberg.
They went to the chevra Kadisha and asked them about this tzaddik nistar. The chevra kadisha replied, "If you pay us for the effort, we can open up the files (pinkus) of the chevra kadisha and check. After paying the price, the chevra kadisha searched their notes and found the following:
One Erev Shabbos, the Lemberger Rav went to the mikvah where he met a poor person. The poor man tapped the Lemberger Rav on his back with a broom and said, "You fasted today, you fasted yesterday, and so did I." He tapped him again with the broom and said, "You fasted the entire week, and so did I because I didn't have money to buy food. The difference between us will be seen tonight because you will have challah, fish, soup, and a full meal, but I will have only dry bread and a drop of water. But if you hear that a cat ate your portion of fish and you will become angry, you will lose all the merits you earned from your fast."
That night, the Rebbetzin didn't serve fish. She informed the Rav that a cat had eaten his portion. The Rav of Lemberg was shocked. The poor man had ruach hakodesh! He followed the poor man's counsel and didn't become angry.
He told his shamash to bring the poor man to him. Now that he discovered the holiness of this unassuming poor man, he wanted to get to know him better. When the shamash arrived at the poor man's home, the man said, "I am from the thirty-six hidden tzaddikim, and now that my identity has been revealed, I will be niftar. It is a shame the Lemberger Rav didn't come himself to call me. I would have told him secrets of the Torah."
The shamash quickly returned and repeated what he had heard. The Lemberger Rav rushed to the poor man's home, but it was too late. The tzaddik nistar had already passed on to the next world.
Reb Moshe Aryeh repeated this story, which he heard from his father-in-law, and added: Take note of the importance of avoiding anger (especially on Shabbos). The tzaddik nistar allowed himself to be revealed, even though he knew this meant his demise, to prevent the Lemberger Rav from becoming angry.
One early Friday morning, the Beis Aharon zt'l was traveling with his son, Reb Asher zt'l, and they saw smoke coming out of every chimney. The women of this town were already awake, baking and cooking for Shabbos. The Beis Aharon told his son, "Women could obtain ruach hakodesh from their cooking, baking, and preparing for Shabbos, but anger ruins it."
The Berditchever Rav zt'l said the same statement regarding cleaning for Pesach. When women clean for Pesach, they can attain ruach hakodesh. But if they become angry, they lose this opportunity.
The Kaf HaChaim (siman 250) writes that the spiderwebs should be removed before the 5th hour of the day (an hour before chatzos) because that is when the light of Shabbos begins to shine.
Rebbe Hershele of Ziditchov zt'l recommended spreading the Shabbos tablecloth Friday before midday as a segulah for shalom bayis.
As a segulah for refuah, the Chofetz Chaim zt'l advises that wine and challos should be on the table already on Friday morning, before daybreak.
Humor is also mesugal for shalom bayis. Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz zt'l was once giving a drashah in his yeshiva when a nudnik interrupted him and asked, "Why are the mouth and the eyes set in the face while the ears and the nose protrude?"
Reb Chaim replied calmly, "The ears and the nose protrude to hold up the eyeglasses," everyone laughed, and he continued teaching.
With wisdom and humor, he avoided anger. Humor can be used at home, as well, to increase peace.
A woman shouted and hollered at her husband and then poured a bucket of water on him. He responded, "I'm not surprised. After thunder and lightning always come the pouring rain."
This is the reason you see people fighting for honor. It is irrational. The fight for honor, itself, belittles them, but people act irrationally when their weaknesses are challenged.
