We have to always ask ourselves: Are we acting like an “Ish”? If you always call yourself an “Ish”, you’ll eventually become one. Before Yaakov benched his sons, he said: הֵאָסְּפוּ וְּאַגִּידָה לָכֶם אֵת אֲשֶׁר יִּקְּרָא אֶתְּכֶם בְּאַחֲרִּ ית הַיָמִּים ויחי מט א I will reveal to you the: אַחֲרִּ ית
Do you know what you’ll become in the end? The Shtempels that I’m giving you; a lion, a wolf, i.e., a strong fighter in Avodas Hashem each in his own way. Keep holding on to your proud Shtempel, and in the end you will truly grow into it.
We can also say that the reason why Yaakov showed each Shevet his unique Ma'ala was because by Yosef it says: וַיְּקַנְּאוּ בוֹ אֶחָיו לז יא his brothers were jealous of him; i.e., you have Kin'ah when you don’t know your own Ma'ala and don’t appreciate yourself. So right after the tragedy of: מְּ כִּ ירַ ת יוֹסֵ ף selling Yosef for a slave, we have Yaakov stressing how a person must know his own strengths.
STORY
A Yungerman was terribly jealous of his brother, who was much more accomplished in his family situation and position. I told him to focus on where HE is superior, albeit that even a Baal Yissurim can be more Chashuv, since: אֶת אֲשֶׁר יֶאֱהַב ה' יוֹכִּיחַ משלי ג יב Hashem gives Yissurim to the person He loves. He did this for a week, and now he can even look down at this brother. Now they both feel very comfortable with each other.
Later on in the Torah, Miriam is referred to as the sister of Ahron. Again, we see her devotion to both her brothers. She was a true relative. Like: שִּׁמְּעוֹן וְּלֵוִּי אַחִּים ויחי מט ה Shimon and Levi who were brothers, as it says: הַכְּזוֹנָה יַעֲשֶה אֶת אֲחוֹתֵנוּ לד לא “Shall we allow our sister to be treated like Hefker?” This is a tremendous: שְּׁ בַ ח praise. I know several stories of Arabs who were M'gayer, and they remarked how cruel their fathers were to them (like getting whipped, etc.). No wonder they are so cruel to strangers. Charity begins at home.
Yaakov Taught His Sons to Appreciate Their Own Qualities
Chazal say: אָ דָ ם קָ רוֹב אֵ צֶ ל עַ צְּ מוֹ סנהדרין י א you are your own relative; i.e., don’t forget to love yourself first, or else you will have all kinds of complications and jealousies. With the Brachos that Yaakov gave his sons, he was teaching them to love their own unique qualities. This is a job for all of us. The Mashgiach, R' Nosson Wachtfogel Zatzal once told somebody with a warm, soft voice: “Be a father to your child” (and the same with being a real mother, son, and daughter).
Even if they don’t do their part, you have to do yours. Like Eisav, about whom Yaakov said that he doesn’t act like a brother, and yet we are commanded: לֹּא תְּתַעֵב אֲדֹּמִּי כִּי אָחִּיךָ הוּא תצא כג ח Do not reject the Edomi, since he is your brother. And Avraham Avinu took care of Terach, although his father got him thrown into the: כִּ בְּ שָׁ ן הָ אֵ ש fiery furnace because of his revolution against idols.
