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Bilvavi | January 05, 2024
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Archive Q&A

Bilvavi | December 10, 2025

Question

The topic of shemiras haBris [guarding the Holy Covenant – safeguarding one’s personal holiness] is very difficult in our generation. The closer I become to Hashem and the more I learn Torah, the stronger my evil inclination seems to become. So how is it possible to completely guard the Bris? Even if a week goes by [without sinning in this area], the next week I am suddenly attacked [by my yetzer hora in this area]. My mind begins to go crazy [with all kinds of lustful thoughts] even as I’m in middle of learning Torah. What do I do about this?

Answer

This generation is the most unbridled kind of society in all of history. Besides for all of the forbidden deeds and sights that fill the world in every corner, the fact is that there are tools of technology which cause tumah (defilement) and they are found in every place. These tools are the very primal root of tumah. Therefore, even if a person doesn’t see, hear, smell, speak, or touch anything forbidden, [he is still negatively affected, for] the very air of the world is still filled with tumah. It is the “50th gate of defilement” [the most depraved level possible]. The Other Side of Evil is at work, from all directions. That is the “50th gate of defilement”, where tumah penetrates from all of the surroundings.

In previous generations, the main kind of evil was in the area of inappropriate sights, as Chazal state, “The eyes and heart are the two tools of sin”, and “The evil inclination does not take hold except in what the eyes see.” The Gemara says that if a person said the name of the harlot “Rachav”, he would immediately become defiled. But in this generation, our very being here on this world means that we are in place of the worst level of defilement, which is making itself known to us from all directions, with nothing stopping it. The more spiritually refined one is - the more that one reveals his neshamah – the more he can sense how just being here on this world, and in this generation especially, is a state of terrible spiritual suffering. For it is then that “you see an upside-down world”, where all holiness has been overturned, completely and in a terribly disturbing manner.

Practically speaking:

  1. It is recommended that a person should minimize, as much as he can, how much he looks at the physical world – even to refrain from looking at things that are not forbidden to look at. A person can make an exception with this when it comes to looking at things that calm the soul. This is a matter that is different with each person, depending on what level he is on. One should be very careful not to act above his actual level, though, because that will only backfire.
  2. One should become attached to an inner kind of thought, mainly a thought of Torah or an insight of avodas Hashem.
  3. The more a person penetrates into his inner world, the more his soul becomes enveloped by the inner world, and he will be less found on the outside world. This is the proper way of life which a person needs to direct his life towards.
  4. When one feels that he is burning with a desire to commit an act of sin, or whenever he feels like his mind is being overtaken [by lustful thoughts], he should immerse himself in cold water. If this cannot be done, he should at least wash himself with cold water [to cool off his passion right now]. This is way to weaken the yetzer hora when it gets strong. One should also review holy verses, enthusiastically.
  5. When one is amidst a moment of weakness and he feels powerless to his lustful inclinations, he should try to focus his vision on an on any nondescript point. If possible, he should focus on a letter of Torah [any of the letters of the Aleph Beis]. This is the inner way to remove one’s thinking from any bothersome thoughts, in order to come out of a “scattered” state of mind. Certainly it is better if a person can get his mind busy with Torah thoughts, but if this is unrealistic for the person, one should at least divert his mind to think about anything else – that’s also good.
  6. There is also a piece of advice that is meant for individuals to practice: to be willing to sacrifice one’s life in order to sanctify Hashem’s Name, amidst the intensity of the difficult temptation. On a specific level, this means that one should be willing to die, rather than think the sinful thoughts. On a more general level, it means that one should be willing to give up one’s life for Hashem (mesirus nefesh). And if one finds himself at the climax of temptation, he should cry out to Hashem, intensely, from the depths of his heart, and beg the Creator that he should be prevented from committing the sin.

Question

If one suffers from improper thoughts and physical desires for men, and he wants to come out of this problem with all of his being, what should he do? Does he just need to be stubborn in trying to overcome the urges, and daven to Hashem for help? Or is he in the category of an emotionally ill person who is in a very severe situation, and it will not be enough for him if he just tries to change himself and daven?

The Rav has spoken about this subject in-depth in one of the shiurim, where the Rav mentioned that there are three general reasons for this sin: Conceit, a desire to take pleasure for oneself, and a desire to alter the nature which Hashem has made. Is there an avodah upon a person who has physical desires for men, to clarify his soul and identify if his desires are coming from any of the above three reasons?

Answer

Everything in Creation has a root in holiness, where it nurses its vitality from. The same thing applies to this subject.

[In terms of Kaballah, the inner dimension of the Torah]: The root of this matter [men desiring physical intimacy with other men] is in the “Upper Partzufim”, particularly “Atik” and “Erech Anpin”, where there is entirely a “masculine” dimension, with no traces of the “feminine”. These spiritual lights are really the roots of the illumination of Mashiach, which become revealed in the final generations, and it is the completion of the illumination of the shaar HaNun d’kedushah, the “50th Gate” in the side of holiness.

The above concept also manifests in the side of evil. For every force of holiness, there is a corresponding force in the side of evil, to counter it. So there is also a “50th gate” in the side of evil, which is referred to as the “acts of Sodom” [in Sodom the people were rampant in homose*uality], the idea of the “masculine without the feminine.”

This particular evil is revealed more intensely in this generation.

On a simple level, one who has a desire to commit the acts of Sodom [the sin of homose*uality] is a soul-reincarnation of a soul from the generation of Sodom. On a deeper level, though, this is actually the general level of our current generation. In our generation, there is also the “50th gate” in the side of holiness which counters this, and it is becoming more and more revealed. When it will be complete, Mashiach will come. But, as the revelation of the 50th gate of holiness intensifies, the revelation of the 50th gate of defilement also intensifies, and that is why this evil [of homose*uality] is also becoming more intensified. In the side of holiness, this idea manifests as the power of oneness (echad), where there is no concept of “two”, for there is only “one”. This is the idea of the “masculine without the feminine”, in the side of holiness. But in the side of evil, this idea manifests as the acts of Sodom [homose*uality].

The “50th gate” [both in the side of holiness and in the side of defilement] is above nature. Nature is represented by the number 7, and when we multiply 7 by 7, the result is 49 [corresponding to the “49 gates” of the spiritual dimension which are all within nature]. After 49 is 50, corresponding to the “50th gate”, which is represented by the number that is “above nature” – the number 8. Therefore, this particular evil [homose*uality] goes above normal human nature.

When one recognizes that this desire is not natural at all, and that it is rather a result of unnatural forces which envelope the generation as a whole, and the individual specifically, this achieves a havdalah (separation) and hachnaah (subjugation) of the self from the forces of evil, for one is recognizing that this desire is not part of his intrinsic being – as you have pointed out in your question. However, it does not enable one to totally separate from this evil. For since it is unnatural, it will not be enough for a person to do the usual form of avodah [in order to overcome this sin]. Rather, it requires one to illuminate the spiritual light of the “50th gate” of holiness, which will banish the 50th gate of defilement. The concept of the 50th gate of holiness is all about achdus (unifying), or echad (oneness). The more a person connects to simple “oneness”, to that degree will this evil be removed from the person.

Besides this, though, since this is an evil which clings to the soul in an unnatural way, it requires one to use the light of mesirus nefesh (sacrificing oneself) in order to uproot it. This concept is mentioned in Tractate Avodah Zarah regarding heretical thoughts: One who is connected to heretical thoughts becomes so attached to the evil that he must die in order to detach from it. Meaning, he must be willing to die, rather than be heretical. Anything which becomes very attached to one’s soul is considered to be in the category of heresy [which one will need to “die”, i.e. be willing to die, rather than become further connected to the sin]. There is nothing which becomes so attached to a person as much as this particular evil [of homose*uality], which is the desire for “oneness” in the side of evil – a “oneness” that exists only in the realm of imagination.

Going further, there is an avodah described in the sefarim hakedoshim, to...

Question

The topic of shemiras haBris [guarding the Holy Covenant – safeguarding one’s personal holiness] is very difficult in our generation. The closer I become to Hashem and the more I learn Torah, the stronger my evil inclination seems to become. So how is it possible to completely guard the Bris? Even if a week goes by [without sinning in this area], the next week I am suddenly attacked [by my yetzer hora in this area]. My mind begins to go crazy [with all kinds of lustful thoughts] even as I’m in middle of learning Torah. What do I do about this?

Answer

This generation is the most unbridled kind of society in all of history. Besides for all of the forbidden deeds and sights that fill the world in every corner, the fact is that there are tools of technology which cause tumah (defilement) and they are found in every place. These tools are the very primal root of tumah. Therefore, even if a person doesn’t see, hear, smell, speak, or touch anything forbidden, [he is still negatively affected, for] the very air of the world is still filled with tumah. It is the “50th gate of defilement” [the most depraved level possible]. The Other Side of Evil is at work, from all directions. That is the “50th gate of defilement”, where tumah penetrates from all of the surroundings.

In previous generations, the main kind of evil was in the area of inappropriate sights, as Chazal state, “The eyes and heart are the two tools of sin”, and “The evil inclination does not take hold except in what the eyes see.” The Gemara says that if a person said the name of the harlot “Rachav”, he would immediately become defiled. But in this generation, our very being here on this world means that we are in place of the worst level of defilement, which is making itself known to us from all directions, with nothing stopping it. The more spiritually refined one is - the more that one reveals his neshamah – the more he can sense how just being here on this world, and in this generation especially, is a state of terrible spiritual suffering. For it is then that “you see an upside-down world”, where all holiness has been overturned, completely and in a terribly disturbing manner.

Practically speaking:

  1. It is recommended that a person should minimize, as much as he can, how much he looks at the physical world – even to refrain from looking at things that are not forbidden to look at. A person can make an exception with this when it comes to looking at things that calm the soul. This is a matter that is different with each person, depending on what level he is on. One should be very careful not to act above his actual level, though, because that will only backfire.
  2. One should become attached to an inner kind of thought, mainly a thought of Torah or an insight of avodas Hashem.
  3. The more a person penetrates into his inner world, the more his soul becomes enveloped by the inner world, and he will be less found on the outside world. This is the proper way of life which a person needs to direct his life towards.
  4. When one feels that he is burning with a desire to commit an act of sin, or whenever he feels like his mind is being overtaken [by lustful thoughts], he should immerse himself in cold water. If this cannot be done, he should at least wash himself with cold water [to cool off his passion right now]. This is way to weaken the yetzer hora when it gets strong. One should also review holy verses, enthusiastically.
  5. When one is amidst a moment of weakness and he feels powerless to his lustful inclinations, he should try to focus his vision on an on any nondescript point. If possible, he should focus on a letter of Torah [any of the letters of the Aleph Beis]. This is the inner way to remove one’s thinking from any bothersome thoughts, in order to come out of a “scattered” state of mind. Certainly it is better if a person can get his mind busy with Torah thoughts, but if this is unrealistic for the person, one should at least divert his mind to think about anything else – that’s also good.
  6. There is also a piece of advice that is meant for individuals to practice: to be willing to sacrifice one’s life in order to sanctify Hashem’s Name, amidst the intensity of the difficult temptation. On a specific level, this means that one should be willing to die, rather than think the sinful thoughts. On a more general level, it means that one should be willing to give up one’s life for Hashem (mesirus nefesh). And if one finds himself at the climax of temptation, he should cry out to Hashem, intensely, from the depths of his heart, and beg the Creator that he should be prevented from committing the sin.

Question

If one suffers from improper thoughts and physical desires for men, and he wants to come out of this problem with all of his being, what should he do? Does he just need to be stubborn in trying to overcome the urges, and daven to Hashem for help? Or is he in the category of an emotionally ill person who is in a very severe situation, and it will not be enough for him if he just tries to change himself and daven?

The Rav has spoken about this subject in-depth in one of the shiurim, where the Rav mentioned that there are three general reasons for this sin: Conceit, a desire to take pleasure for oneself, and a desire to alter the nature which Hashem has made. Is there an avodah upon a person who has physical desires for men, to clarify his soul and identify if his desires are coming from any of the above three reasons?

Answer

Everything in Creation has a root in holiness, where it nurses its vitality from. The same thing applies to this subject.

[In terms of Kaballah, the inner dimension of the Torah]: The root of this matter [men desiring physical intimacy with other men] is in the “Upper Partzufim”, particularly “Atik” and “Erech Anpin”, where there is entirely a “masculine” dimension, with no traces of the “feminine”. These spiritual lights are really the roots of the illumination of Mashiach, which become revealed in the final generations, and it is the completion of the illumination of the shaar HaNun d’kedushah, the “50th Gate” in the side of holiness.

The above concept also manifests in the side of evil. For every force of holiness, there is a corresponding force in the side of evil, to counter it. So there is also a “50th gate” in the side of evil, which is referred to as the “acts of Sodom” [in Sodom the people were rampant in homose*uality], the idea of the “masculine without the feminine.”

This particular evil is revealed more intensely in this generation.

On a simple level, one who has a desire to commit the acts of Sodom [the sin of homose*uality] is a soul-reincarnation of a soul from the generation of Sodom. On a deeper level, though, this is actually the general level of our current generation. In our generation, there is also the “50th gate” in the side of holiness which counters this, and it is becoming more and more revealed. When it will be complete, Mashiach will come. But, as the revelation of the 50th gate of holiness intensifies, the revelation of the 50th gate of defilement also intensifies, and that is why this evil [of homose*uality] is also becoming more intensified. In the side of holiness, this idea manifests as the power of oneness (echad), where there is no concept of “two”, for there is only “one”. This is the idea of the “masculine without the feminine”, in the side of holiness. But in the side of evil, this idea manifests as the acts of Sodom [homose*uality].

The “50th gate” [both in the side of holiness and in the side of defilement] is above nature. Nature is represented by the number 7, and when we multiply 7 by 7, the result is 49 [corresponding to the “49 gates” of the spiritual dimension which are all within nature]. After 49 is 50, corresponding to the “50th gate”, which is represented by the number that is “above nature” – the number 8. Therefore, this particular evil [homose*uality] goes above normal human nature.

When one recognizes that this desire is not natural at all, and that it is rather a result of unnatural forces which envelope the generation as a whole, and the individual specifically, this achieves a havdalah (separation) and hachnaah (subjugation) of the self from the forces of evil, for one is recognizing that this desire is not part of his intrinsic being – as you have pointed out in your question. However, it does not enable one to totally separate from this evil. For since it is unnatural, it will not be enough for a person to do the usual form of avodah [in order to overcome this sin]. Rather, it requires one to illuminate the spiritual light of the “50th gate” of holiness, which will banish the 50th gate of defilement. The concept of the 50th gate of holiness is all about achdus (unifying), or echad (oneness). The more a person connects to simple “oneness”, to that degree will this evil be removed from the person.

Besides this, though, since this is an evil which clings to the soul in an unnatural way, it requires one to use the light of mesirus nefesh (sacrificing oneself) in order to uproot it. This concept is mentioned in Tractate Avodah Zarah regarding heretical thoughts: One who is connected to heretical thoughts becomes so attached to the evil that he must die in order to detach from it. Meaning, he must be willing to die, rather than be heretical. Anything which becomes very attached to one’s soul is considered to be in the category of heresy [which one will need to “die”, i.e. be willing to die, rather than become further connected to the sin]. There is nothing which becomes so attached to a person as much as this particular evil [of homose*uality], which is the desire for “oneness” in the side of evil – a “oneness” that exists only in the realm of imagination.

Going further, there is an avodah described in the sefarim hakedoshim, to...

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Bilvavi | January 05, 2024