To answer this question, let us study a remarkable story from the Gemara (Ta’anis 23b):
Rabbi Mana ben Rabbi Yona once told his teacher, Rabbi Yitzchak ben Elyashiv, that his father-in-law’s family was extremely wealthy. Their wealth led them to belittle and pressure him, as the rich often assume that their means grant them authority.
“That is not difficult,” said Rabbi Yitzchak. “I will daven that they lose their wealth.” He davened, and indeed, they became poor.
Later, Rabbi Mana returned and said: “Now they no longer trouble me, but I suffer from poverty.” Rabbi Yitzchak davened again, and their wealth returned.
On another occasion, Rabbi Mana told his teacher that his wife’s appearance repulsed him and made life unbearable. Rabbi Yitzchak asked for her name. “Channah,” replied Rabbi Mana. The Rav davened, and Chana became beautiful. However, with her newfound beauty came arrogance; she began to torment her husband. Rabbi Mana again approached his teacher, who davened that she return to her former appearance — and she did.
What lesson lies within this story? The Ya’avetz (Ta’anis 23b) explains that the Gemara teaches us here a profound truth: Hashem gives each person challenges precisely suited to his spiritual capacity. Every “solution” we attempt to impose brings its own test, sometimes harder than the first.
Rabbi Mana discovered that he could bear the arrogance of wealthy relatives, but not the pain of poverty. He could endure a plain wife, but not an arrogant one. Only Hashem knows which situation is truly for our good.
This story also reveals the hidden danger of beauty: pride and condescension. When one receives admiration for appearance rather than virtue, it is easy to grow vain and dismissive of others. Beauty then becomes not a blessing, but a challenge — to refine one’s middos, to act with humility, kindness, and respect toward all.
Thus, beauty — like everything else we have -- is both a blessing and a test. When guided by modesty and Yiras Shomayim, it becomes a genuine virtue; without them, it can lead to downfall.
