How careful we must be that we do not harm others. Sometimes, an act that appears to us to be negligible may be extremely severe, and we cannot estimate its magnitude. In addition, we must remember that measure for measure is not null and void from the world. The Creator remembers all the actions. If, G-d forbid, we hurt others and did not ask for forgiveness, then it is very possible that we will find out how this act comes back to us. As we did, so we are liable to pay, God forbid. The following is a story adapted from the Chaim Shel Torah issue (from a conversation by Rabbi Chaim Tarnovsky, shlita). It teaches us how sensitive we must be to the sorrow of others.
There was a story about a man who, as a child, was very humiliated. One day, when he was studying in Haidar, he approached a student teacher, who was sitting next to him in the classroom, and said that he did not want to sit next to him! He asked the Rebbe to sit him somewhere else. The same Rebbe "went too far." He stood in the classroom and asked aloud: "Children, who wants to sit next to him?" – and pointed to the boy who had been rejected. One answered, "Not me!" The other shouted, "There's no way in the world that I'll sit next to him!" and the third shouted, "Even if they pay me, I'm not sitting next to him." The Rebbe said to the boy in a loud voice in front of everyone: "Do you see? No one is willing to sit next to you!" ... Of course, the child was hurt to the depths of his soul. On top of all this, a few days later, his older brother brought two friends home... Suddenly the mother came into the room, where they were playing, and saw that her precious bottle of perfume was broken. Her sorrow and pain over the broken perfume bottle was great. It was a bottle of perfume that cost hundreds of shekels! She started shouting loudly: "Who broke my precious perfume bottle?!" ... His brothers and friends made a face of 'he doesn't know how to ask.' The mother, of course, turned to him and accused him. He tried to say, 'It's not me,' but it didn't help. The mother threatened him and said, "Soon Dad will come and see what he will do to you. It's not enough that you broke the bottle, you don't thank the truth either!" When the father arrived and heard what had happened, he 'educated' him from all directions...
Several years have passed. Our acquaintance continues his story and says: "I am walking with the same difficult feelings and anguish. G-d has blessed me forever and ever, with a woman about whom we should say – 'A woman of valor, who will find' – a good woman, a woman who trusted me, a woman who built me, raised me and changed my life. In fact, all I have is only because of her!" I recently attended a wedding. There I met a man who seemed familiar to me, but I didn't remember where he came from. I told him he knew me, and he also said I knew him. But we didn't remember where it came from. After a few minutes, he remembered and said to me, "I was your brother's friend!" He looks at me and says, "You, apparently, don't remember, but when we were kids years ago, I was at your house, playing ball and accidentally breaking your mother's precious perfume."I remember that everyone accused you of breaking it. I ask you for forgiveness, forgiveness and atonement, even though you probably don't remember this incident." When I heard what he said, I started shaking and crying. I felt intense paleness. Everything floated and rose. All the hard, bitter and horrible childhood that had accompanied me for many years! He looks at me and asks: "What happened to you, is everything okay?! What, do you still remember that?" I answered him: "You ask, if I remember that? Do you know what happened when my father came home? Do you know how much I 'paid' for it?!" Suddenly, the penny dropped. He realized that because of his act, I had paid a very high price. If I still remember that act, I probably never forgave him. He turned to me and said: "I really apologize and ask for forgiveness. I ask and beg you to forgive me for that!" I replied: "I will try to forgive you, but it will be hard for me! I have to work on myself, so that I can forgive you wholeheartedly." He said to me: "You should know that I have already paid for it too! I married a family called 'important,' and I don't have peace at home. I'm at odds with my 'concierge,' he's coming down to my life, and now we're in the final stages of separation." By the way, you seem to know my 'shawar' – you remember that he was in Haidar Rab, who was called..." And then he mentioned the name of that Rab, who hurt me and humiliated me!
The Holy One, blessed be He, invites everyone to one inn. The Rabbi and my brother's friend who broke the precious perfume and did not confess. There is a judge and there is a judge, and we pay for our actions between man and his friend in this world as well!! How much we should learn from this story and be very careful in all matters between man and his fellow. In particular, in speaking appropriately, and especially in avoiding unnecessary and negative speech, which may cause irreparable damage.
