Is a father obligated to take out a loan from a gemach, if he doesn’t really have where to pay back from, and he is going to end up going from one gemach to the next?
Is one allowed to borrow money if he doesn’t know how he will pay back the large sums he borrowed, or is doing so included in: לוה רשע ולא ישלם – “A wicked person borrows and doesn’t pay back”?
Finally, is one obligated to knock on doors, get a position, or go out to work, in order to be able to marry off his children?
Can a father turn round to his dear children and say: “Until this day I looked after you and provided for you, I fulfilled the enactment of Usha (תקנת אושא) that one must provide for his young children, and I even did more than that and I provided for you until you were of the age to get married. Sadly, I am no longer able to provide for you, please go and get married and provide for yourself.” Especially, as the mitzvah of getting married is really the son’s mitzvah, and the father merely needs to help out if he can, if, however, he can’t, ultimately it is the son’s obligation. Or is doing so, forbidden, cruel, and against halachah?
Promising What One Doesn’t Have
R’ Chaim Kanievsky zt”l was asked if one is allowed to promise something that he doesn’t have, and he ruled (cited in Minchas Todah, Al HaTorah, pg. 468) that all that one can say is, “I will try to do such and such”, however, one can’t promise and obligate himself to pay something he doesn’t have.
Some gedolei hora’ah say that promising more than what one has is an issur de’O’raisa of ona’ah.
Story
The Minchas Todah (Al HaTorah, pg. 468) relates that someone once send a letter to R’ Chaim asking if he can promise to give a certain amount of money, if he doesn’t know how and where he will be able to pay it back from. R’ Chaim answered in short like he always did: פחמע''ד. The asker didn’t understand what this meant, and he asked R’ Chaim to clarify what this stood for. R’ Chaim explained that it stood for: פוק חזי מאי עמא דבר – “Go out and see what everyone else does” and the reality is, that people marry off their children and promise large amounts of money more than they can possibly afford, and each one has his own miracle of how it worked out in the end.
R' Chaim added in the name of the Chazon Ish, that the biggest miracle in today’s generation, is that Bnei Torah succeed in marrying off their children!
If you are reading this and are shocked that such questions are being asked, I am too, but this is what goes on in Eretz Yisrael.
