Dealing with Worries
Question: I’ve learned a lot about Bitachon already. I learn many Seforim, and listen to many shiurim. I have large bills sitting in front of me, and have no idea how this will get paid. What aspect of Bitachon can you suggest is the most reassuring, to allow me to be free from worry?
Answer: The first thing to do is go with Teva and Hishtadlus, i.e., try to get out of the bills. Try to find a way to pay them off. But if you try and you still have no idea what to do, then you should laugh your head off; don’t worry about them. You will live until 120 regardless of the bills. You know, if there would be a serious illness, Chas V'shalom, then everything would become forgotten, and then the illness would dominate the mind. People worry all the time. Worry is only when you have nothing else on your mind; e.g., when you go on vacation, then you worry, because you have a lot of free time. But if you are too occupied, then there is no room for worry. Halevai people would be too occupied! The worry doesn’t have to be there; go to war against it. Be reckless to get rid of it, e.g., have fun and Shmuess, or sit down and learn for a couple of hours. WORRYING ABOUT THE PROBLEM IS THE BIGGER PROBLEM.
The ideal thing is to learn loads of Bitachon, and then everything will get better. And make the learning Geshmak! Even if you don’t feel the Bitachon, just keep at it, and Nissim will happen. Second best is distraction. If you can't distract, then be happy with your worry and pain, because it will be M'chaper. But that is plan C. Pain in this world saves you from Gehinom. It's better to suffer here than to suffer there.
Question: Hello Rabbi Mandel, We have a son, our oldest, learning in a Yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael. We often can’t help but feel worried that maybe he isn’t doing well in Yeshiva. What’s something that we could do practically to relieve ourselves of these worried feelings about our son?
Answer: It depends if there is a real concern. I don’t know the questioner. Try to get in touch with the Rosh Yeshiva or Mashgiach. Many times people are overly worried, and they should stop worrying. But if there is a valid concern, get someone in Yeshiva to keep an eye on that Bachur.
