The custom of Jews from Chassidic communities is to eat mezonos, cake or cookies, on Shabbos morning after kiddush. [Gift stores in Borough Park sell “challah covers” that are embroidered with the blessing for cake (borei minei mezonos) rather than bread (hamotzi), for use during the Shabbos morning kiddush.] The Shabbos morning custom of Jews originating from Lithuanian and German communities is to start the meal with the blessing of hamotzi on bread, immediately after kiddush.
Rabbi Pesach Diskind a grandson of Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky once related the following:
One Shabbos morning when he was a guest by his grandfather, he noticed that after kiddush, Reb Yaakov’s Rebbetzin [wife] served cake to Reb Yaakov and he made a borei minei mezonos. Afterwards, they went to wash for the meal.
Rabbi Diskin knew that his grandfather was not a chossid. He was, in fact, a dyed-in-the-wool Litvak. Rabbi Diskin asked his grandfather from where he picked up the custom to have mezonos after kiddush. Reb Yaakov explained the origin of this custom to his grandson. Rab Yaakov, who had lost his first wife, was now married to his “zivug sheni” [his second wife]. Reb Yaakov’s second wife came from Chassidic background. Both her father and her first husband were from Chassidic backgrounds. She was accustomed to having mezonos with Shabbos morning kiddush. If he would not have mezonos after kiddush, she would feel something was lacking in the kiddush.
Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky was 70 years old when he married his second wife. That means that for 50 years he made kiddush in the morning without mezonos.
How many of us would change after doing something for fifty years, and for what? “Because with my wife, this is how kiddush is made”.
Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky changed. To Reb Yaakov, it was worth changing a 50-year-old practice for shalom bayis — for the feelings of his wife. This should serve as an insightful lesson for all of us.
