I started a service to deliver kosher food. I’m calling it Jewber.
A lady calls the Mount Sinai Funeral Home. “Hello, this is Esther Goldberg. My husband passed this morning. Please come and pick him up.” “Oh, but Mrs. Goldberg,” the funeral director replies, “we buried your husband last year.” “Yes, I remarried.” “Oh, Mazel Tov!”
After 20 years of learning together Shlomo finally admitted to his chevrusa that he wasn’t Jewish. “But Shlomo, we learned for 20 years together, and you know full well that a non-Jew that keeps Shabbos is liable for the death penalty?!” “Ah, you see” replied Shlomo “I always kept a tissue in my pocket on Shabbos and carried it all around town” “But Shlomo, there’s an eruv here?!!” “Yes” replied Shlomo “But i don’t hold by it!”
One day, Avraham decides to buy a computer...He buys a second-hand windows 98. His son, Yitzchak, went to his father and asked him why he hadn’t bought a faster computer with more memory... Avraham replies to his son “Don’t worry, Yitzchak, G-d will provide the RAM”.
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