Question: My life has been a struggle. I grew up religious, in my teens I began to lead a secular lifestyle, in my mid-20s I returned to observant Judaism and it has been an up and down battle ever since. I am 43 and I wonder if religious life isn’t for me. It feels like it is not my nature to be religious. Is that possible?
Answer: A Jew is composed of two souls: an animal soul and a G-dly soul. The animal soul is not bad, it just wants to feel good—this is its nature. However, since it is surrounded by an abundance of physical delights, its desire is expressed in a thirst for physical gratification. On the other hand, the G-dly soul’s nature is to fulfill Hashem’s will. This is expressed in a desire to learn Torah, perform mitzvot and daven.
For the majority of people, one’s thoughts, actions and view of the world, are influenced primarily by their animal soul. The animal soul covers and conceals the G-dly soul. Thus, it is no surprise a person will identify with their animal soul and even wonder, “perhaps religious life isn’t for me.”
Yet, ask yourself, who inspired the above question—your animal soul or G-dly soul? For the animal soul, there is no question—its nature is the pursuit of pleasure. The question, in fact, is motivated by the G-dly soul. It is that background noise; the subconscious voice that won’t leave you alone; that “something” that won’t let you simply walk away from Torah and mitzvot.
We are taught in the Talmud (Sota 3A): Reish Lakish said: A person does not sin, unless a spirit of folly (ruach shtut) enters him.
In other words, the true nature of a Jew is a desire to do Hashem’s will. The spirit of folly, the animal soul, conceals this nature. It confuses and confounds, causing one to think they are something they are not. However, the inner intent of the animal soul is for the good—to inspire the person to reveal their true potential.
King David writes in Tehillim: He redeemed my soul with peace from the battle that came upon me...(55:19) The battle to overcome our animal soul can be fought in two ways: war or peace. Chassidus provides the language to speak to the animal soul, to explain that G-dliness is desirable. Its teachings have a transformation effect, inspiring the animal soul to yearn for Hashem while also enabling our G-dly soul to shine through the darkness, illuminating our lives. This is the way of peace.
Thus, although at times we identify with our animal soul, our essence is our G-dly soul. The true nature of a Jew is to fulfill Hashem’s will. The is who we are. Sometimes we just become confused and distracted by the ruach shtut.
Aharon Schmidt - marriage & individual counseling; [email protected]
