After completing the three-year course of study at Gateshead, I traveled to New York, where I had my first audience with the Rebbe.
During that meeting, the Rebbe quizzed me about my education and how I was treated at the school. He asked me: “What is the attitude of the administration of Gateshead toward Lubavitch?”
The question took me aback. I had a great deal of gratitude to the school for the wonderful education I received there, so I didn’t want to say negative things about it and the administration’s criticism of Lubavitch. After all, they came from the Lithuanian tradition of mitnagdim, who had been opponents of chasidim in the 18th century. And, although critical at times, they were also respectful — for example, they allowed us Lubavitch girls to get together and read chasidic teachings on days that were special to Lubavitch.
So, choosing my words carefully — because I did not want to make the Rebbe feel bad — I answered: “If we didn’t do anything against the administration of Gateshead, everything was good.”
“Against?!” the Rebbe exclaimed. “The word mitnaged means against. Lubavitch is only for.”
When the audience was over and I was walking out, he repeated: “Remember — mitnaged means against. Lubavitch is only for.”
We are only for. Who are we against? Nobody. Instead of standing in opposition, Lubavitch is for spreading Torah and its mitzvot and everything that is good in the world.
While in New York, I began dating for marriage, and I had a firm idea of what I wanted in a husband — he had to be a talmid chacham, a Torah scholar. I had picked up this attitude at Gateshead where Talmudic learning was considered the be all and end all, and where I often heard disparaging remarks that Lubavitchers are not sufficiently dedicated to Torah study because they are too busy with their outreach campaigns. The implication was that if you marry a Lubavitcher, you’re a lost cause.
Lubavitch, of course, had a different point of view. The Rebbe often described Torah learning as the most important thing, and urged his followers to study Torah night and day. But he also felt very strongly that nowadays we don’t have the luxury of sitting in a yeshivah indefinitely while people are out there drowning — we have to get up and do something about it. In addition to studying Torah, we have to devote ourselves to saving Jewish souls.
However, coming out of Gateshead, my top priority was marrying a talmid chacham, and when I was introduced to my future husband, Rabbi Sholem Ber Hecht, I wrote to the Rebbe that I had my doubts about him because, in my opinion, he hadn’t studied in yeshivah long enough. He was clearly a brilliant man, but I wasn’t certain that he was as big a Torah scholar as I wanted my future husband to be.
The Rebbe replied: “Work for Pegisha and you will come to learn the truth.” Pegisha — which means “Encounter” — is a Chabad program where Jewish college students are invited for a weekend in Crown Heights to be exposed to the beauty of Torah observance and to chasidic teachings.
I worked very hard as a volunteer for Pegisha, and I did learn the truth. I learned the importance of outreach, how crucial it was to save Jewish souls. And, perhaps in the merit of the effort I devoted to this task, I also recognized that my future husband was, in truth, a big talmid chacham.
When we got engaged, the Rebbe gave us his blessing on the condition that my husband would initially learn Torah in a kollel for married men. And so, after our wedding, we went to Israel for three years while my husband studied in a kollel in Kfar Chabad and Nachlat Har Chabad. The Rebbe cared that I wanted a Torah scholar, and he made sure that I was completely satisfied.
Rebbetzin Channah Hecht and her husband, Rabbi Sholem Ber Hecht, are the head Chabad emissaries in Queens, New York, where they have served the Sephardic community for the past fifty years. They are the proud parents of fourteen children and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was interviewed in December 2025.
