The gemara teaches אין דברי תורה מתקיימין אלא במי שממית עצמו עליה, words of Torah are retained by one who kills himself over it.
R' Michoel Ber Weissmandl offered a novel explanation. Every person encounters times when he feels justified in excusing himself from learning. How, then, can one know whether an excuse is truly valid?
He explained, imagine that you have left this world and are now standing before the Beis Din Shel Ma‘alah. Would you feel comfortable presenting this excuse or would you be embarrassed to provide such an excuse? This, he explained, is the meaning of the gemara: the Torah endures only in one who considers himself, when he has an excuse not to learn, as if he passed away — someone who, at each moment of hesitation, imagines himself standing before the Heavenly court.
