As we enjoy the “wedding season,” it would be appropriate to discuss some of the relevant laws pertaining to a chasuna. Even if you are not expecting to have the job of the mesader kiddushin, this is a topic that is relevant to us all. Since we all hope to get married and marry off our children, it is worthwhile to have a basic understanding of what is happening at a chasuna. Additionally, quite often someone is asked to be one of the eidim at a wedding and should be aware of the halachic ramifications.
Although we perform the kiddushin and chuppa in one setting, this was not always the way it was done. In the times of the Gemara, the wedding ceremony was a two-step process. The kiddushin – harei at mekudeshes – was done first, after which the kallah would continue to live at home with her family, similar to how things are done today after the engagement. After stocking up on all the necessarily clothing and preparations, the chuppa would take place. In later times the custom became that the kiddushin was done just prior to the chuppa.
There are a number of reasons given in the poskim for this change of performing the Kidushun just prior to the chuppa. One of the reasons is actually based on an interesting phenomenon discussed by the Radvaz.
A serious problem once arose, where a man and woman got engaged, and the fiancé sent gifts to his future bride. Unfortunately, the engagement was subsequently broken, and the woman got engaged to someone else. Sadly, the first man decided to get her back, and claimed that she had already accepted kiddushin from him – in front of two eideim, who were no longer around. Since she was already married to him, she was unable to marry anyone else. This created a great commotion and dispute as to whether or not he was halachically authorized to make such a claim.
In order to ensure that this would not happen again, the sages of the time decided that the practice of having only kiddushin and later the chuppa should be stopped. This way, anyone claiming that they had performed kiddushin would not be believed.
In fact, the sefer Pri Haaretz mentions that there was a cheirem placed on those who did not follow the prevalent custom of performing the Kidushun just prior to the chuppa.
UNDERSTANDING THE TEXT OF THE BIRCHAS KIDDUSHIN
Our text of the brocha that is recited under the chuppa is: “ברוך אתה ה' מקדש עמו ישראל על ידי חופה וקידושין” – “Blessed are You Hashem, Who sanctifies His nation, through chuppa and kiddushin.” The Ran raises an interesting question: since the Kiddushin must precede the chuppa, the text of the brocha seems to be out of order. Since the Kiddushin takes place first, why is the chuppa mentioned first, before Kiddushin?
The Ran first suggests that the wording of the brocha is not based on chronological order. Rather, the text can be explained as follows: Hashem sanctifies His nation, through the chuppa and with the Kiddushin which takes place first.
The Ran then quotes another explanation in the name of the Sefer Ha’itur, that in reality, the text should read: “ברוך אתה ה' מקדש עמו קידושיןבישראל על ידי חופה ” – “Blessed are You Hashem, Who sanctifies His nation, by chuppa with Kiddushin (with a veis and not a vuv),” meaning the chuppa, which already includes the kiddushin.
However, since, grammatically speaking, it is supposed to be read as a veis (ב) and not a beis (בּ), the printers misunderstood and thought it was supposed to be a vuv.
The Shulchan Aruch (E”H 34:1) writes the text of the brocha with a veis. The Gra (s”k 4) points out that this is based on the aforementioned opinion of the Baal Ha’itur, quoted by the Ran. However, the Rama writes that it is with a vuv. This is based on the text of the brocha, which is quoted in the Gemara (Kesuvos 7b).
SUMMARY
In the times of the Gemara, after the Kiddushin, the kallah would prepare for the wedding and the chuppa would take place at a later time. In later times, this was changed and they are done together.
The Shulchan Aruch (E”H 34:1) writes the text of the brocha is: “ברוך אתה ה' מקדש קידושיןבעמו ישראל על ידי חופה ” – with a veis, “Blessed are You Hashem, Who sanctifies His nation, by chuppa with Kiddushin. But the Rama writes that it is with a vuv: “מקדש עמו ישראל על ידי חופה וקידושין.
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