They say that the Hanahala of Yeshivas Bais Yosef in Bialystok spent loads of time making sure that when they gave out the Aliyos to the Torah, they were done with lots of respect for their Talmidim. Here we have the same Shita that makes such ridicule of Kavod, and at the same time they were so ultra-careful not to hurt the Kavod of others.
I once met an 85-year-old Novardoker. He was a prominent Rav and Talmid Chochom, and he learned literally 12-15 hours a day virtually nonstop. Yet, he had his daily pack of 10 freeze-pops that he enjoyed while he learned. A person has to realize what he needs; and a Hanhaga conduct like this was 100% permitted and even encouraged, depending on the situation.
R’ Henoch Leibowitz Zatzal told me that every person has to do “his thing” that’s needed for his situation. Like R' Chaim Ozer Grozovsky Zatzal who was full of humor, and similarly, I heard that Rav Hutner Zatzal was full of humor. Sometimes the difficult Nisyonos in your life compel a person to be this way “for survival”.
Novardok put lots of Kochos in understanding each individual’s needs, and every six months they reassessed the situation and adjusted it when needed. The way you learn, how much you learn, how much Torah, Mussar, Tzedaka, Zikkui HaRabbim, and Dikduk HaMitzvos; each person needs to be monitored, or else he may be hurting his individual needs, and his growth can be stunted.
Or else, you’re busy “imitating” [which can be “suicide”] or trying to fit into a “box”, which can hurt you more than it helps you. Yet, often a “box” and being similar to the people around you can be just perfect; this teaches a person a most important and desirable trait, i.e., of being Mach'nia to the system. There are no rules. You always need a Rebbe [who understands you] to guide you with Hashem’s help.
I know a person who was criticized overtime in his younger years, and his head is always spinning with reminders of how he’s no good. I suggested for him to write down all these negative thoughts about himself, and to laugh at them, since it’s ridiculous to consider yourself a total zero.This has helped him to stop taking his Chesronos seriously, and he is encouraged to go to the other extreme [“I am the epitome of perfection!”] since this is the Rambam’s recipe for Shviras HaMiddos. He loads himself with only positivism, including plenty of positive lies, and he has become a happy and productive person. This Derech is true Daas Torah.
