“You Have No Right to Despair”
After the terrible Churban Europa, there was a Yid who was alone in the world, and he completely despaired of life. He came to the Chazon Ish for chizuk and poured out his heart, crying that he had no courage to go on. The Chazon Ish responded by telling him a story:
A young woman worked as an agent, doing business in various commodities, while her husband had no connection at all to her business affairs. Once, she traveled away for business with a large sum in hand, when tragedy struck and she lost the sack of money. Frantic, she ran to the rav in the area, imploring him to make an announcement that anyone who found the money should please come and return it. Indeed, a man came forward and said, “It is true that I found the money, but I will not return it, since according to the Torah, once a person has despaired from his lost object, it is no longer his.” And he refused to return the money. They sent the question to Rav Yitzchok Elchanan Spektor, who replied that the man must certainly return the money, for the following reason:
Since there is a principle that בעלה קנה אשה שקנתה מה, what a woman acquires belongs to her husband, the money in question really belonged to her husband. Since her husband didn’t even know about this incident, he hadn’t despaired from the money. The wife’s despair does not apply here—it doesn’t dictate the halachah.
Said to the Chazon Ish to the man standing before him, “You feel terribly desperate after everything that you have endured. But you have no right to despair over your life! You are, after all, only a shaliach of Hashem. He is the true Owner. He sent us here, and He dictates the facts of our lives. He knows what is good for us... your despair isn’t in force, for your life—with all its components—belongs to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
With these words, the man emerged strengthened from the home of the Chazon Ish.
We Are Only Agents of Hashem
Sometimes, people are faced with numerous challenges all at once, and they risk falling into despair. Says the Chazon Ish, “It is not your life for you to be able to despair.” You had a plan, and now things went differently from what you planned. And if so, logic says to despair... but the truth is that our lives are not ours to despair of.
Imagine, a person made an entire plan to invest in a certain commodity and resell it at a large profit. Then he finds out that many people had entered this field before him, and they will be able to sell at a cheaper price than he can, thus eliminating any potential profit for him.
According to his calculations, it makes no sense to move forward. His entire plan fell apart. He foresaw himself as having a large, beautiful family, with prestige and honor as a result of his wealth, and now he sees that he will have nothing.... “I don’t have koach for anything anymore...,” he moans.
But the Chazon Ish teaches us that this way of thinking would be all well and good if we were in charge of our own destiny. But a person is only a shaliach, an agent of Hashem, and an agent is not so concerned with the plans and the ultimate success—he is focused only on fulfilling the mission, with no other calculations.
Drinking Coffee as Usual
Often, employees in a company will listen to the fantasies and dreams of their employer from behind the door. Between themselves, the employees will schmooze—as they drink their coffee—“I think that the boss’ plan fell through... I think that the entire dream came to nothing....” But they continue to drink their coffee. Why? Because they’re just here to do their job. The success of the boss’ entire plan is none of their business! The millions their boss may accrue are not relevant to them.
So too, a Yid understands that he is only a shaliach, and he is not charge. His plans and his forecasts don’t play a role. It is not his place to fall into despair or not to despair; this is the domain of the Boss. We’re only His employees!
Hashem’s Plan Always Succeeds
There is another element we must add.
When a person contemplates despair, that is only because his plan fell through. His forecasts and expectations didn’t succeed. But if he understands that he never should have had a plan and expectations to begin with... there is no room for despair at all!
We must understand that at every moment Hashem’s plan is succeeding—whether or not we acknowledge it—thus, what room is there for despair?
Often it happens that when a person looks on from the sidelines, he observes the way a person is walking the wrong way in the street. He wants to alert the person, “Hey, you’re meant to go to the right over here.” But the person turns around and says, “I know exactly where I am going.... You just came along and you have your idea about where I should be going, but I planned this route, and I know exactly where I am going.”
We all have an idea about how our lives should look when suddenly they take a turn. And we want to alert Hashem to change course.... Says HaKadosh Baruch Hu, “I planned this course long before you came along, and this is exactly how it is meant to be. All you need to do is get on board with My program.”
Just Stick to the Mission
The Meraglim wanted to act independently. We are going into Eretz Yisrael.... Thus, they needed to check out the land to see if their plan made sense. It became clear to them that, while it was a good plan to go into Eretz Yisrael, the obstacles were too large to surmount, and it was not worthwhile to enter the land. So, they cried and complained.
Similarly, people say to themselves, “It is my shidduch.... It’s my apartment.... It’s my business that I want to purchase....” And when things don’t go as they wished, they stop trying, and they despair of their plans.
This is well and good if we are the ones in charge. But we aren’t.
If a person understands that, at the end of the day, he is only an agent, what is the worst thing that can happen? Why not continue with the mission?
Asking a Favor for “Someone Else”
Sometimes, Hashem wants us to ask another person for a favor. So, we ask that person for a favor, and we think that we’re asking the favor for ourselves, and he is the one helping us. Then, we begin to make cheshbonos. “Will he want to help me? Is he likely to agree?” And if it seems to us that he won’t, then we don’t bother going to him. But if we understand that we’re simply a messenger from Hashem to go to that person and ask him, then we don’t make a cheshbon about whether or not he will agree. All we are required to do is ask, and this is what we did.
Suppose we want to ask a person for a tzedakah cause. It is clear that we’re just a messenger, acting for another person, and we aren’t as discouraged if we are turned away. All we need to do is ask. The same applies to our personal life. It’s not our life. Our lives belong to Hashem, and we aren’t meant to make so many cheshbonos about how things will work out. We are expected to do our mission faithfully. This is the approach of a Yid.
Being a Messenger Means Drawing Strength from the Sender
If a Yid approaches things in this way—understanding that all the kochos come from Above—then it is no problem to conquer the ענקים בני who controlled Eretz Yisrael. The kochos of HaKadosh Baruch Hu aren’t limited. But if we look at it as if we are the ones doing... our abilities are indeed limited; thus we are discouraged.
Similarly, a person wants to be לתורה עתים קובע, but he feels that he won’t be able to keep it up. If he understands that he is merely a shaliach to do ratzon Hashem, then he draws the kochos directly from Hashem Whose abilities are unlimited, and he should not fear that he can’t accomplish it.
