In this week's Parsha the Meraglim - spies went to check out Eretz Yisrael.
The Meraglim came back after forty days. They brought back some of the fruit of Eretz Yisrael. Chazal tell us that the fruit were huge. One of the Meraglim carried a fig, one carried a pomegranate and four carried a cluster of grapes. The Meraglim told over that although the fruit of Eretz Yisrael is so big and delicious, the people there are huge and strong too. They continued to speak badly about Eretz Yisrael and sadly it was decreed that all Jews between the ages of twenty and sixty would die in the desert.
Our Rabbis try and understand what caused the Meraglim to speak so badly about Eretz Yisrael causing such tragedy to Klal Yisrael.
There was a very special young man that lived in Berditchov. He spent his day immersed in prayer and Torah study in the Beis Hamedrash. As his family grew he realized that he wouldn't be able to continue his present lifestyle but would have to provide some source of income. He spent time thinking what he could do to earn a living. He decided to buy wholesale a barrel of herring fish and then went to the market place to sell them as single fish and thus earn a meager income. It wasn't a great business but at least his wife and children wouldn't starve.
When Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur arrived he went to daven in the Shul of the famous Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov. He was so glad to be able to spend a few days completely immersed in prayer again. The tears flowed down his face as he poured out his heart to Hashem how difficult it was for him being unable to spend his day in the Beis Hamedrash as in the past. Instead of study the words of Abaye and Rava, the Rashi and Tosfos, the Ramban and the Rashba instead he was busy selling herring. His memories of those elevating times aroused his emotions and tears. He begged Hashem to allow him to once again be able spend his day in Torah and prayer.
After Yom Kippur he received a message. Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov wants to speak to him. He entered the Rabbis study waiting to hear what the great Rebbi wanted.
The Rebbi said, "I want you to know that your prayers caused a great uproar in Heaven. On the night of Yom Kippur you cried to Hashem pouring out your heart how you can't spend your day in the Beis Hamedrash studying. You prayed that Hashem should give you 120 gold coins and that would suffice you for a whole year to sit and study. After a night's sleep and thinking it over you changed your mind. You decided that if you have such a large sum of money in one go, the Yetzer Hara will try and make you open a fish store instead of studying. So you asked Hashem to give you 60 now and then 60 for Pesach. Then you decided that even that isn't a great idea so you asked Hashem to give you 10 gold coins per month so you would have enough each month. Then by Ne'ila prayer, you decided that the best would be if Hashem would give you 2 and a half coins each week to provide you and your family with enough food. My dear friend, your prayers caused a big uproar in Heaven."
"Yes," replied the young man, "that is exactly what I prayed on Yom Kippur."
"And what did they decide in Heaven," asked the young man?
"The answer was no," answered the Rebbi.
"But why?"
"Who said that is what Hashem wants from you? Who said Hashem appreciates more when you are in the Beis Hamedrash? Hashem decided that He wants you to work honestly for a living, sanctify Hashem's name by your behavior and honesty in business to everyone who meets you. And then when you come home tired at night, you force yourself to go to the local Shul and join a Shiur Torah even though you can barely keep your eyes open. You are a true model of what a working person should be. That's what Hashem wants from you.
This was the mistake of the Meraglim. In the desert the Jews had the mann in the morning, the slav at night, they were surrounded by the Heavenly clouds, drinking water from rocks and the Aron flattening any mountains or smoothing out any valleys.
In Eretz Yisrael that would all change. As soon as they crossed over the Yarden the mann stopped. The well of Miriam was buried in the Kineret, the clouds disappeared. The Meraglim explained that they would be living in a materialistic world, with tempting big fruit, not in the miraculous spiritual setting they had in the desert. The Meraglim, who were very great people, had it all worked out how they understood what is the best way to serve Hashem. They relayed over to Klal Yisrael that to serve Hashem on such a spiritual level could only happen in the dessert. That couldn't happen in Eretz Yisrael.
But Hashem had different intentions. Hashem knows what's best for our spiritual growth and many times it's not what we think it is. We are so sure that if everything was perfect the way we understand is best then we would be able to serve Hashem properly and much better. But many times that's not the Avoda that Hashem wants from us. That is not what will make us fulfill our spiritual purpose in our life. Hashem wants us to try our best even when things worked out just the opposite of our plans. But as long as we do our utmost and try our best we have fulfilled the Ratzon Hashem. It is challenging and we mustn't fool ourselves.
The examples are endless and all of us can relate to this message in so many different situations during our lives.
