There is so much that a yid is required to believe; just take a good look at the thirteen principals of faith and you get an idea of what we must believe in. But once we believe in Hashem, the Torah, our prophets, etc. – there’s still one more belief that we must have – and that is belief in ourselves. Yes, a yid must believe in his own greatness.
The meraglim came back from spying in Eretz Yisroel and said 13:33 “There we saw the nephilim, the sons of the giants from among the nephilim, we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes”. The Midrash Raba point out (16,11) that the statement “we were like grasshoppers in our eyes” was a true statement because the spies knew how they felt when they saw the giants. But the second statement, “and so we were in their eyes”, was incorrect. After all, how could they know what the giants thought of them? Maybe Hashem caused them to appear like angels in the giants’ eyes? Because of this error, says the midrash, they caused themselves to wander in the desert for forty years and were not allowed to enter Eretz Yisroel.
The Kotzker Rebbe says that this declaration was the root of the sin of the meraglim. They had no right to consider how the giants viewed them. As yidden and messengers of the yidden, they should have thought of their mission and not of what anyone else thought of them.
We see from here how important it is to believe in oneself. The spies were extremely humble, and while humbleness is generally a tremendous virtue, over here it was misplaced. They didn’t value themselves sufficiently and this caused them to stumble. A yid must have self-esteem.
When Hashem was looking to give the Torah on a mountain, each mountain was fighting over the privilege and said why the Torah should be given on them. Hashem rejected them all and instead chose Har Sinai, which is a low mountain. If it was so important for the location of matan Torah to have humility, why wasn’t the Torah simply given in a valley? By nature, a valley would be even more humble! But no, the Torah had to be given on a mountain because in order to accept the Torah, a person has to have a bit of a mountain inside. If he views himself as a valley, he won’t get anywhere in life. In order to succeed and have ambitions to grow, a person has to believe in his greatness. He has to believe in his strength and his potential. So, the Torah had to be given on a mountain to teach us self-respect, and it had to be given on a low mountain to teach us humility. That’s the balance a person needs in order to succeed in life.
Rashi says (Vayishlach 32:11) on the pasuk “katonti m’kol hachasadim”- “I have become small from all Your kindnesses” that “nismatu zechuyuso al yedei hachasadim…” - my merits have been reduced through the kindness and the truth that You have done with me. Therefore, I am afraid lest since the time you promised me, I have become soiled with sin and it will cause me to be given over into the hand of Eisav.
The gemora in Sota 5 says that a person is allowed to have “shiminis shebishminis” of gaavah, 1/8 of an 1/8 which equals 1/64 of arrogance. A Talmid Chacham must possess “an eighth of an eighth’’ of pride. What does that mean? Says the Vilna Gaon, the gemora is referring to the 8th pasuk in the 8th parsha of Sefer Bereishis. Parshas Vayishlach is the 8th parsha and the 8th pasuk is “katonti mikal hachasadim”- I have been diminished by all the kindness. I don’t deserve all the kindness that Hashem has done and continues to do for me; it’s all a gift from Hashem.
Maharsha explains that a person who has more than 1/64 of pride is considered a showoff. The word “gas” – which means haughty, is spelled “gimel samech”, which in numerical value equals 63. You are only allowed to have 1/64 of gaavah and not more.
The Benayahu in Sota 5 (Ben Ish Chai) asks on the Vilna Gaon that from the word “katonti” you don’t see a little pride, you see the opposite! It’s an expression of humbleness! Also, shouldn’t Yaakov Avinu have said the word “nismati” – I have diminished – instead of the word “katonti” – I am small? He answers that the difference between katonti and nismati is that nismati doesn’t show that he will receive more at the end. But katan is a word that means he will receive more. Like it says “ze hakatan gadol yihiye” – this katan- this small person - will become a gadol – a big person. That’s why Yaakov Avinu said katonti, to show a little pride, and he did indeed receive more at the end. Comes out that the word katonti is indeed a lashon of pride; it is the starting stages of something or someone big. You are never a nothing. You may be small right now, you may be “katan’’, but that only means that you are the start of someone much bigger. We forget just how tremendous our potential is. The Benayahu is saying that we have to have gaava that we can and will transform and grow from a katan to a gadol. That is a good gaava, an inner pride and self-esteem to realize our true potential.
The Tzidkas Tzadik says there are 3 things in which a person must believe: Hashem, Torah and himself. That’s because when you believe in yourself you can accomplish great things.
The way for one to believe in himself starts when he’s a young child, and a parent and rebbe build confidence into him.
The Bnei Yisaschar was once going around from house to house on Pesach night to see how the simple people conduct their seder. He was standing by the door of one person who was reading about the 4 sons – “echad chacham, echad rasha..” and this person was stretching out echaaaaad chacham.. and he was having lots of kavana. And then again by the rasha, he said, echaaad rasha like we stretch out by krias shema. The Bnei Yisaschar commented that this person made krias shema from the 4 children.
At first glance, it seems that this simple yid was making a mistake. But the Bnei Yisaschar in actuality went home with a new understanding and perspective of the 4 sons. What was it?
Says Rav Yehoshua m’Belz that is a lesson for chinuch. Every child has his own challenges in life. It’s not easy growing up, and raising children is difficult. We say “chanoch l’naar al pi darko”, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all by chinuch. Every child needs something that the other child doesn’t need. And we, as parents and mechanchim, have to give it to him in order for him to reach his full potential. Says the Belzer Rav, when raising children, we should do it with the same sincerity and effort as we spend when we are mekabel ol malchus shomayim. Every child is an echad, an individual with his own talents and greatness, and we have to bring it out. Yes, we must believe in our children’s greatness, we must believe in our students’ greatness, and mostly, we must believe in our own greatness.
