QUESTION: Generally, my husband and I have a rotation as to who gets up for the baby at night. Sometimes, however, I genuinely do not wish to get up even though it is my turn. May I pretend not to hear the baby so that my husband will get up instead of me? He will assume that I am very tired and did not hear the baby. Is this a violation of MiDevar Sheker Tirchak (distance yourself from a lie)? [Note: Details of the actual question that was posed have been changed slightly for anonymity purposes.]
ANSWER: There is a Talmud Yerushalmi (Shevi’is 10:8) which states that if people assume that a Torah scholar is well-versed in two tractates of Talmud but he is actually well-versed in only one, then the Torah scholar is obligated to inform them that he is only well-versed in one. There were great Rabbinic authors, because of the Yerushalmi quoted above, who wrote in the introduction to the Seforim (Torah books) that they authored, that just because they have discussed a number of varied topics in their Seforim, the reader should not assume that the author is well-versed in the entire Torah. This shows that even in a matter of a passive untruth (when someone assumes something about you that is untrue without you intentionally doing anything to mislead them) there is still a concept of staying away from a falsehood. Therefore, it would appear that you should tell your spouse that at times you may, “Pretend not to hear the baby,” and that you hope he does not mind.
Shlomo HaMelech tells us in Mishlei 12:19: “True lips (i.e. truth) will be established forever.” Rashi adds, “It will be established and will endure.” Accordingly, it would seem that being truthful about your baby in your case will give Beracha to your marriage or your baby (and perhaps to both of them!).
