I got a call from a woman who had called me two days before about her husband who was at the verge of leaving Kollel and going into business, since Kollel life was too stressful for him. His wife had been davening for years that he learn: ה בָּ ה רַ דָ מָ תְ הַ בְּ (with great Hasmada) and become a Gadol, etc.
I told her #1 – stop davening! Instead, say for 5 minutes a day how happy you are that he is so relaxed and learning Geshmak, etc. She should call me back in a week, and I guaranteed a total Yeshua. After two days she called that he was suddenly offered a new Kollel which learns in a totally different style that he loves. She said that he never looked so happy in his life.
Besides, they received another call that their problem with living in crammed overpriced quarters has been solved. They were looking high and low for more comfortable quarters, and everything was overpriced. Suddenly, a new development opened up; spacious and super inexpensive. Look how the frame of mind of a person can change so many areas of his life!
Being tense and nervous despite all your Avodas HaBitachon can be detrimental. A 27-year-old Bachur called me about a Shidduch. I told him that instead of sitting when מֵאַיִן יָבֹא ﬠֶזְרִ י :around and worrying all dayshall come my Yeshua, start thanking Hashem 20 minutes a day, and you'll soon be a Chosson. After a month he called me and told me that it didn't work. I told him to continue. After a second month still no results. I persisted that he should continue. This is extremely important! No Yi'ush!הָﬠַקְ שָׁ ן יַצְלִיחַ The stubborn will be Matzliach! After three months he became a Chosson. He told me that by thanking 20 minutes a day he became happier and more relaxed, and things started moving.
