The Ohr HaChaim says that the Gadlus of Kalev, even more than Yehoshua, was that he had a big Yetzer Hara that he had to overcome. Kalev was Zoche to all kinds of Gevaldige Inyanim, like very long life, and so many Chashuva Doros (a dynasty), etc. The person with the big Yetzer Hara who works on himself is actually the luckiest.
Many years later, Dovid needed a favor from Naval HaCarmeli, and Naval refused. He was a wicked person, and he was called a: כ לִבִיְְּּש"אְּכהְּג “Kalbi” i.e., a descendant of Kalev ben Yefuneh.
Perhaps this is exactly Kalev's greatness; when we see how stingy and: צ ְּרְּ ע ְּיְִּןְּ i.e., not Fargining and full of jealousy, and lack of Hakaras HaTov that Naval had, we see the potential evil of Kalev, since this is his descendant. And Dovid wanted to kill him because of his wickedness and chutzpa to Dovid. Look how Kalev was full of Ayin Tova, saying טוֹב הְּה א רֶץְּ מ אֹדְְּּמְאֹדְְּּידְּז “The land is very, very good”, seeing only good in Eretz Yisroel and defending Moshe. He said that even if Moshe would give us ladders to go to the sky, we should listen to him. (Rashi).
And look how Naval talks and berates Dovid. מִיְּד וִדְּוּמִיְּבֶןְּיִש יְְּּ ה יוֹםְּר בוְּּעֲב דִיםְּה מִת פ ר צִיםְּאִישְּמִפ נֵיְְּּ אֲדֹנ יוְְּּש"אְּכהְּי Who is this Dovid? And who is this son of Yishai? Now-a-days there are so many servants who spite their master to his face (and for all I know, Dovid may be one of them). He is jealous of Dovid for being anointed Melech by Shmuel; he has no respect for anybody. He didn't acknowledge the favors that Dovid did for him, by protecting his flocks from lions and wolves. When Kalev went to daven by the Avos, that he should be protected against his burning Yetzer Hara, perhaps we have an example of what Kalev could have done. If he was a born Tzaddik, then he wouldn't need to daven so hard to change himself.
The Gemara says about Yosef HaTzaddik that he was ready to sin with the wife of Potiphar. R' Elyashiv Zatzal brings down a Kashya in the name of the Mahralbach (R' Levi Ibn Chaviv, who lived in Yerushalayim in the 1500’s, son of R' Yakov Ibn Chaviv, author of Ein Yakov). We see how Chazal defend Tzadikim, like by Dovid they say כ לְּה אוֹמֵרְּד וִדְְּּ ח ט אְּאֵינוְֹּאֶל אְּטוֹעֶהְְּּשבתְּ נוְּ א Dovid never did any sin whatsoever, and they deviate from the simple meaning of the Passuk that implies Dovid sinned. By Yosef the Passuk sounds like Yosef was a Tzaddik Gamur; why do Chazal go ahead and make him look like a potential: נוֹאְֵּףְּ sinner, Chas V'shalom, who had to stop himself the last minute?
He answers that the truth is the opposite. If you are a born Tzaddik who refrains from sin, that's fine. But if you are a lustful potential sinner who stops himself, then you are much greater! This is so different than the way we think! Halevai, we don't look down at Yosef for being so close to doing such a low life action!
Halevai, we don’t look down at Kalev for having a potential wickedness just like the Meraglim. So many of us suffer needlessly when we degrade ourselves, for so much Kin'ah, Ta'ava, Kavod, and Ka'as that's within us. There is a story about Palti ben Layish who didn't want to be Nichshal with Michal bas Shaul, whom he felt wasn't his wife, and since he was forced by Shaul to keep her, he stuck a sword in middle of his house as a warning: This is what you deserve if you get near her.
When Dovid became Melech and he took his Michal back, Palti was crying in the streets. Why? Because he lost such an undesirable Nisayon?! The Meforshim say that this is a proof of the greatness of Nisyonos. So many people complain about their difficult Nisyonos; they should think of Palti who became greater through his Nisayon than Yosef and Boaz. (Gemara).
Don't look for Nisyonos! But if you already have, appreciate! And even if you fail often, this is the process, like it says: שֶׁבַע יִּפוֹל צַדִּ יק וָקָם משלי כד טז A Tzaddik falls seven times, and gets up! The Ben Ish Chai says that despite Palti’s greatness, he still should have gone against Shaul HaMelech and not allowed her in his house. Despite his great His’gabrus, he did see her, and therefore he had to return to this world as a Gilgul and become Rabbi Masya ben Charash. Rabbi Masya ben Charash had never even saw a woman, and the Satan disguised himself as a woman, and tried to cause him to be Nichshal.
When Rabbi Masya ben Charash felt that he was weakening, he took two fiery hot iron poles and he blinded himself. The Ben Ish Chai says that this was his punishment for looking at Michal (in his previous life). We see how a giant like Palti, who was way bigger than our most celebrated Tzaddikei HaDor (Yosef and Boaz), who is THE example of true Yiras Shamayim, still wasn't perfect. כִי אָּדָּם אֵׁין צַדִ יק בָּאָּרֶּץ אֲשֶּר יַעֲשֶּׂה טּוֹב וְלֹא יֶּחֱטָּאְְּּקהלתְּזְּכ No one is perfect.
We are all human, and we all fall. The strong ones are those who aren't Nis'pael from their many sins, and even from super bad ones. He just keeps moving and trying. And in the end, he'll be Zoche to convert his sins into Mitzvos. (Chazal). And:ב מ קוֹםְְּּ שֶב עֲלֵיְּת שוּב הְּעוֹמ דִ יםְּאֵיןְּצ דִ יקִיםְּג מוּרִ יםְְּּ י כוֹלִיןְּל עֲמוֹדְְְּּּברכותְּלדְּב Baalei Teshuva are even GREATER than pure Tzaddikim!
Although in Ruchaniyus we try with the most Hishtadlus and loads of Tefila, yet we always exercise having Bitachon and more Bitachon, that someday I'll become the highest Madrega and the most purity.
Not being Mya'esh in Ruchaniyus is a very Chashuva Avoda, and you get plenty of Schar for it. And the Sefer HaMaspik L’ovdei Hashem (written by R’ Avraham ben HaRambam) says that the main Bitachon is in Ruchaniyus. There are many of us who spend a lifetime with their struggles and can get discouraged. Keep up the Bitachon without Yi'ush, your reward is priceless!
