We all cherish a brocho from the Rebbe. The opportunity to get a dollar from the Rebbe, together with some encouragement and inspiration is priceless. The Rebbe would generally accompany each dollar with a wish for “brocho vahatzlocho”, and occasionally add more than that. Each of these dollars that any of us has in our possession continue to be treasured and cherished.
But then, at times, there is more than just the dollar. The Rebbe is giving very concrete directives, very unmistakable advice. As with the young man in the story, the Rebbe says to us “Hey (of course, the Rebbe doesn’t say “Hey”, I’m just paraphrasing), Hey, where are you going?! Don’t go there!”
And where are we going, that is so unadvisable and discouraged? Of course, we are going mainly to learn and to daven. We go to Yeshiva, to shul, to a shiur and a farbrengen. As Dovid hamelech said: “My feet are always carrying me to the beis medrash”.
But we also – sometimes – want to make sure that we’re not missing out on the other attractions of the world (being always wary of the words of the Yerushalmi that every person is destined to give a din vacheshbon for all of the pleasures of the world that he saw and did not partake of).
We’re going after the diamonds and the emeralds. Diamonds and emeralds look pretty, they glitter and they are very appealing. And they can make us a million dollars richer (don’t forget, the story happened over 35 years ago, when a million dollars probably still had some value). We tell ourselves that if we could only have a fancier house, a fancier phone or take a more glamorous vacation (just this once, just to see what it’s like) then our lives would be more fulfilling; - then we would (surely) feel like a million bucks!
And, of course, to get there, we have to sacrifice a bit more of our learning, a bit more of our davening and a bit (or a lot) more of our peace of mind.
We convince ourselves that it’s all for a good cause. If I could just get these diamonds, get this bit of extra glitter in my life, I’ll be a better chosid, and my family will be better chassidim, and I’ll be able to give more tzedaka and do more mitzvos and bring Moshiach now (and the Rebbe and the Eibishter and the entire pamalya shel maalo will thank me effusively).
But the Rebbe says: ‘Where are you going? What are you thinking? Don’t go there! That’s not where you belong!’ Whether it was wall to wall carpeting, chauffeur-driven limousines or French kitchens, the Rebbe was emphatically telling us that we don’t belong there, we don’t need that.
I recently saw a clip of a farbrengen (OK, I saw it on a whatsapp, where else), in which the Rebbe is vehemently decrying the practice of rewarding a child for good behavior by giving him, as soon as he gets home from school, the “harmful device”, the “tzatzke”. If you watch it, you will be certain that the Rebbe is referring to smart phones (all though surely all of the historians will insist otherwise). In modern society it may be considered a sign of progress and prestige, but the Rebbe says unequivocally “You don’t need that, don’t go there”!
Because, firstly, not everything that glitters is a diamond. Most of olam hazeh shines and glitters, from the distance, but it’s really fake, it’s CZ. In our imagination this achievement will bring us peace, satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment, when in fact it only brings disillusionment and emptiness.
Most importantly, - the path to these diamonds and emeralds is fraught with danger. In Colombia, where I think I’m going to find the million (or ten million or a hundred million etc.) dollars, the risks that abound are so great that the imagined profits doesn’t justify them. In order to acquire one more level of financial success, I have to sacrifice so much more of my spiritual pursuits, and I have to associate so much more with a foreign environment and atmosphere, that my very life – of ואתם הדבקים א"בה חיים – is endangered.
Today, everything (worthwhile) that we do involves the internet. Even erudition in Torah often needs to be helped along the way by the world wide web. But, then, once we’re there, up (or down) in cyberspace, there is so much more to check out. There are popups and adds and invites that are beckoning to us to check out the glittering sites that are just around the corner on one side or the other.
A inner voice tells you ‘what can be so bad, I’ll become more worldly, I’ll know more about what’s going on outside of my daled amos, I won’t be such a batlan, it’s just for the sake of furthering my education’. You say ‘it’s not so bad, it’s not as if I do things that are forbidden. After all, my other phone has a filter under the badatz. I’m top tier chassidish. This phone/computer doesn’t really count, this one isn’t mine, it belongs to my friend/shvigger/cousin/company. This phone was sold to a goy with an oreiv kablan, it doesn’t matter, it’s not my aveirah. Let me at least see once what everyone is making such an issue about. Everyone goes there’.
But the Rebbe tells you, tells us: “Don’t travel, don’t go there! DANGER! The glitter that is beckoning puts your very life in jeopardy r”l, there are no emeralds at the end, but, rather, a bullet in the back r”l.
Our generation apparently has an overwhelming challenge with matters of tznius. And the responsibility to uphold the standards of tznius applies (as the Rebbe emphasized) not just to women, but also to men (both in regards to the way the men dress, that is also governed by the requisites of tznius, as well as their responsibility to avoid being in situations in which they are exposed to less than desirable standards of tznius).
But the world we’re living in is trumpeting the opposite message. Permissiveness and immodesty have become the norm. And we see the alternate lifestyle, the slight easing of our standards of modesty, beckoning to us, attracting and tempting us. What could be so wrong about a few centimeters more or less of clothing? Why do we have make issues and be fanatic? If I’ll be a drop more tolerant (of my own indulgences), why, I’ll be able to feel like a million bucks. Why torment myself unnecessarily?!
But the Rebbe repeats (because, conveniently, we didn’t understand the first time) “Don’t go there! Stay away”! You won’t be getting what you’re hoping for. It is leading to a very different destination, one that deprives us of what is most precious to us; - our life and connection with Hashem.
So you say, maybe before Gimel Tamuz that could be demanded. Then we were able to see the Rebbe, take part in farbrengens, receive dollars from his holy hand and experience so much spirituality as a substitute for the moral depravity of the world. But today, when we’re living in such a void, surely we can’t be expected to continue to maintain the same standards. Is that not an unrealistic goal? Can’t we, in today’s day and age and climate (and especially with our concern not to ch”v ‘turn anyone away’ and be true to our mandate of being accepting and welcoming to all and making all of our messages be’ofen hamiskabel) be a bit more permissive and compromising?
So, the Rebbe says : “Remember, don’t forget what I told you, then, before Gimel Tamuz”. It’s true, it’s a generation of intense darkness and overwhelming hardships. But the message, the guidance and the directive remains the same. Don’t go where you shouldn’t be going. It’s true it appears as if the wonders of modern technology are infallible and can help us soar to new heights. But that is not the case. Actually modern technology (in its various forms) is very dangerous, it can explode in a fiery fireball leaving no trace. The only way to ensured safety is to meticulously follow the guidelines of shulchan aruch, the guidelines of chassidus and of darkei hachassidus and the directives of the Rebbe.
The young man in the story, although not himself a Lubavitcher, was so sure of the Rebbe’s advice that not only did he follow it himself, but he made sure that others did as well. We need to express the same faith and certainty that the path that the Rebbe wants us to travel on is the only one that will bring us success and satisfaction. In fact, we should have such confidence in this, that we should go out of our way to convince others of the righteousness of this path, even at the risk of appearing (or being considered) crazy or fanatic or extremist.
And, if we’re speaking about tznius, tznius is first and foremost about modest garments. And we know that the neshomo has 3 garments. Which means that it is not enough to ensure that our actual garments are modest, we have to also enforce tznius in our levush of dibur, in our faculty of speech. The speech of a chosid needs to be modest, eidel and refined. It needs to be respectful and positive, not degrading and demeaning.
Todays’ culture celebrates lowering the standards of modesty in speech. Someone who can speak more coarse and vulgar, more tough and blunt is considered more cool and with it. But we have to remember that the Rebbe is telling us “Don’t go there! Stay away”. Whether it’s inappropriate language, immodest subjects or unrefined manner of speak to or about others, that’s not where we’re supposed to be.
A Jew was once in yechidus, and discussing with the Rebbe the subject of beards. He was a very learned individual, and was bringing numerous scholarly proofs that shaving one’s beard is acceptable, it’s not halachikally problematic. In the course of the conversation, the Rebbe said to him: “Tell me the truth, when you picture in your mind Moshe and Aharon, the great tana’im, the holy rishonim, how do you picture them, with or without a beard?”
The Jew answered honestly: “With”. The Rebbe told him: “You see, deep down you yourself acknowledge that a Yiddishe face includes a beard!”
A simple measuring stick is to picture respected chassidim: Is this how we would imagine them speaking, and what we think that they would be saying? If not, then we should not be going there either!
For that matter, there is the garment, the faculty, of thought as well. You could think that your thoughts are private, are hidden away (like those incognito websites) and are no one’s business but your own. But, we have to implement modesty in our thoughts as well. If the thought that entered my mind is not a refined one, not an appropriate one (or worse . .), then I have to realize that the Rebbe is telling me emphatically: “Don’t go there. It is hazardous to your spiritual health!” I need to forcefully chase it away and focus on something more fitting.
In fact, if we’re looking for diamonds, we actually have a safe and certain way to acquire them without exposing ourselves to any danger; - Every single tomim is a diamond! Every single chosid is a precious gem! It is up to us to shine and polish these precious stones, to give them the proper care and keep them out of harms’ way, until the truly sparkle and shine with their inner beauty clearly visible!
L’chaim! May we each do what it takes to ensure that we and every single Jew is a shiny gem in a visible sense, and may the Eibishter give every single Jew diamonds and emeralds and gems in the literal sense, along with abundant brochos in every area bGUR, and especially bring us the diamond and crown gem of the world, the third beis hamikdosh, with the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
