Obedience is not measured by our ability to follow rules, but to respond to G-d’s voice.
(M:DY RBDMB) ‰.WNAUX YK ÂH RMA RwA OWQMH LA WNYLEW WNNH RMAL RHH wAR LA WLEYW RQBB WMKwYW‰
“They arose early in the morning and ascended the mountaintop, saying, “We are here and ready to ascend to the place Hashem said, for we were wrong.”” (Bamidbar 14:40)
Following the negative report of the meraglim, the Jews cried about how they were doomed. Hashem told Moshe that because of this they would have to remain in the Wilderness for forty years, one year for each day the spies were scouting the land. When Moshe told them the news, the Jews were shocked and rocked with grief. The next morning, they crested the mountain, ready to begin the conquest of the promised land, but it was too late.
Hashem had already decreed that all those counted from twenty and above would die in the Wilderness and it would not go away. The fact that the Jews recognized their error wasn’t sufficient. The meforshim explain that simply acknowledging they were wrong was not enough. Hashem knows what’s inside our hearts and they were afraid of what happened to the spies, who died a horrible death. They weren’t repenting because they loved Hashem and wanted to fulfill His will, but because they were scared of punishment. That kind of Teshuva doesn’t reverse the damage.
There’s a further nuance here to be garnered, as well. The Jews said, “Hinenu,” we are here. This was the answer of Avraham when Hashem called him, but he meant that he was ready to do whatever Hashem asked of him, even if it was difficult or painful. They certainly were not in that space.
Their comment of being ready now, belies a misconception. The Jews took a fatal misstep by lamenting the report of the spies. Simply changing their minds would not take them back in time as if they’d never made the error.
What the Jews needed to enter Eretz Yisrael before the spies’ sin was not what they needed afterwards, because they were different people. Now they were people who had sinned and repented, and each choice we make changes who we are. Therefore, what would have worked previously would no longer work.
Whereas before they merely had to follow Hashem’s guidance, now they required an atonement before they could move forward. They needed a lesson in watching what they said and did, and that their actions have consequences. They would have it.
Thinking they could just “take it back” was a foolhardy mistake, and Moshe warned them to desist. Sadly, 30,000 men didn’t listen, and they were killed, just as Hashem had warned. We must learn from this story that what we need is different for each person and each time in our lives. Regardless of what we need, Hashem sends it to us, and if we get the message the first time, we won’t have to go through a harder lesson.
A journalist in Israel was writing an article about Baalei Teshuva, people who chose to come closer to Hashem and learn about their Jewish heritage. After a class, he stopped one of the men who was leaving and posed this question: “Who do you think will get more reward, you, or someone who has been religious his entire life?” He thought the man would refer to the dictum of Chazal that “in the place where penitents stand, even the completely righteous cannot.”
Without hesitation the man replied, “Surely, one who has always been observant will get more reward.” He explained. “They will be rewarded because they think there is something better out there, yet they don’t pursue it. I know that the world without Torah and without G-d is empty. For me, coming here is the only logical response, so why do I deserve reward?”
©2024 – J. Gewirtz
