Be Happy with Your Portion
Some are jealous of their fellow man. They wish they had the wealth, honor, and prestige that their fellow man has. The path of temimus is to believe that Hashem gave you what is suitable for you.
A wise person once said, "Believe me, you don't want another person’s portion. It is a package deal, the good comes along with the bad, and believe me, you don't want their package."
Tzaddikim say that if everyone would place their peckel (package of tzaros) on a table, and then they could choose any package they wanted, each person would take back their own package. The grass seems greener on the other side of the fence, but if you knew everything that goes om there, you would prefer your own portion.
This realization is temimus. It is to accept the portion that Hashem gave you because Hashem knows exactly what is best for you.
A chasid of the Imrei Emes zt'l complained about his limited parnassah. The Imrei Emes told him that it states in parashas Shoftim (16:22) אלקיך 'ה שנא אשר מצבה לך תקים ולא, which can be translated as, don't make a demonstration against Hashem (וידערשטאנד). Don't complain. Believe that if Hashem gave you this situation, it is best for you.
The Nesivos Shalom zt'l of Slonim zt'l would often say, "Women seem deprived of many mitzvos. They don't wear tallis and tefillin, or study Torah (at least not in the manner that men do). However, there is a great avodah that they do for Hashem. They say שעשני כרצונו, thanking Hashem for making them exactly as they are, and there is no greater avodah than when one accepts Hashem's plan.
This message is also expressed in the brachah צרכי כל לי שעשה, "Hashem gave me everything I need." It expresses, "Hashem gave me everything I need; I lack nothing."
Someone was telling the Tosher Rebbe zt'l about the troubles he suffers in life. As they talked, the gabbai brought in a hot tea for the Rebbe. The Rebbe spilled some drops of the tea on the man, and a few moments later, the Rebbe spilled more of the tea on him. The Rebbe asked him, "Did the hot tea hurt you?" "Of course, it hurt," the man replied. "But if the Rebbe did it to me, I am certain that it was for my benefit, and it will be mamtik my dinim (remove my problems from me)." The Tosher Rebbe replied, "I am a simple person. I don't know how to be mamtik dinim (to remove your tzaros). Nevertheless, you believed that I can bring you salvation with the scolding of hot tea because people call me Tosher Rebbe. Kal v'chomer, when Hakadosh Baruch Hu brings you tzaros, you should be able to believe that it is for your good. Hashem can certainly be mamtik dinim. There is no reason to cry and complain. Believe it is all for your good."
He adds that the beginning of the pasuk, לך תתן ושוטרים שופטים means that when one suffers from yesurim, he should judge himself and seek to understand why they came and which aveirah needs to be amended.
Someone told Rebbe Bunim of Pshischa zt'l that he feels he can't say the brachah צרכי כל לי שעשה because he lacks things. "If I say this brachah, it will be a brachah l'vatalah, because it isn’t correct for me." Rebbe Bunim told him, "Whatever you lack is for your benefit. You couldn't complete your mission in life if you had those things. So, you do have everything you need."
The Chasam Sofer zt’l (Toras Moshe, Eikev, Shma) writes, "Man was created lacking so he will recognize his Creator, serve Him, and earn both worlds. His lacking is, therefore, the greatest benefit. One says, רבות נפשות בורא וחסרונם, Hashem created people who lack things...and that is the greatest kindness, because העולמים חי ברוך, with it one merits both worlds."
Chazal (Brachos 57:) say, של דעתו מרחיבין שלשה נאים וכלים נאה ואשה נאה דירה הן אלו אדם, "There are three things that broaden the mind of man. They are a beautiful home, a beautiful wife, and beautiful utensils."
The simple explanation is that having a beautiful home, wife, or utensils calms the mind and broadens one’s thoughts.
The Ruzhiner zt'l says that we can also explain that the Gemara urges people to broaden their mindset and recognize that their home, wife, and utensils are beautiful. Instead of complaining that you want better, train yourself to דעתו מרחיבין, to widen and broaden your mind to accept and rejoice with the portion Hashem gave you.
It states (Tehillim 23:4) המה ומשענתך שבטך ינחמוני, "Your rod and Your staff - they comfort me." Rashi explains that he is even comforted by the staff of yesurim because he trusts that it is for his good. The Chida says that this is also implied in the pasuk at the beginning of the parashah (16:18) .לשבטיך לך נתן אלקיך 'ה אשר לשבטיך means a punishing rod. It states אשר לך נותן ...'ה, it is like a present from Hashem.
