This week’s parshah concerns itself with matters of judgment, the Torah teaching us how to distinguish between cases that appear similar but are actually very different. When judging “between blood and blood, between din and din ... words of dispute in your cities, then you shall rise and go up to the place Hashem your G-d chooses.”
The Kelmer Maggid explains these words on a deeper level, in the mussar derech. If you ever wonder why the goyim are doing so well while Jewish blood is hefker, he writes, or why there seems to be one law for Jews who suffer and one law for others who prosper, then look no further than “words of dispute in your cities” for the answer. When Jews fight amongst themselves and disagree with disrespect, all these misfortunes come upon us.
While at times it may seem that Galus and its challenges are themselves the source of conflict, in essence it is the other way around. And just as this is true on a national scale, so too is it true in micro, with small-scale conflicts and within our families too.
Difficulties such as financial stress, medical issues, or other challenges can often seem to be the reason for conflict, yet in essence, they don’t necessarily provide a reason to quarrel. As a matter of fact, some couples deal with these and other similar problems and challenges as a team, becoming even more unified over time, while other couples consist of two spouses on different pages, drifting further apart over time as they seize on their problems as ammunition to be used against each other.
It can be perplexing when we notice how some families are shattered by challenges such as chinuch issues or illness, while others emerge stronger and better. In fact, it can seem inexplicable unless we dig
