Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "I’m a big metal fan."
My wife says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock.
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now it’s a Ford Focus.
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein? No whey Jose.
I used to be a narcissist. But now look at me.
I bought a dog off a blacksmith today. As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.
I haven't owned a watch for I don't know how long.
I almost got caught stealing a board game today. But it was a Risk I was willing to take.
Thank you student loans for getting me through college. I don't think I can ever repay you.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike. It's a vicious cycle.
