28 Menachem Av, 5711 (1951)
In answer to the message about your birthday, I bless you that your good fortune should increase and that you may earn a livelihood with ease and support your family with peace of mind and heart; and G-d should strengthen your G-dly soul which finds itself in confinement, so that you should be able to achieve, in practical terms, peace in your home.
I am puzzled as to why you fail to have a concrete understanding of the fact that this situation is coming about through the suggestion and active intervention of the Evil Inclination which is intensifying its action in this matter.
As I have told you several times, and I repeat again, you must put the greatest possible efforts into the matter of achieving peace in your home, between you and your wife.
The saying of our Sages that “A woman’s tears are readily found” is well-known. Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to show forbearance, particularly in worldly matters.
If our Sages have expounded on the great virtue of peace in the home at all times, how much more vital is it on the eve of Shabbat, and we, including all of Israel, are now past mid-day on Shabbat eve. The end of exile is close at hand as is the coming of our righteous Moshiach.
It is understood that the greatest concealment of G-dliness prevails in relation to lack of peace in the home.
It is known how great peace is; the ways of the entire Torah are ways and pathways of tranquility and peace, particularly during this last exile, which came about as a result of the lack of peace.
With the approach of the end of the Exile, the resistance of the forces opposed to holiness increase so as to prevent peace in the world at large and specifically between man and wife here below, who reflect their spiritual counterpart above.
However, “the load is according to the camel,” and certainly, the ability to withstand the challenge is given to you.
With blessing that you may have awe of G-d and achieve peace in your home,
17 Sivan, 5714 (1954)
I have been wondering why I have not heard from you all this time, and I hope it is a sign that all is going well.
Still in all, I would be happy to read so explicitly in your letter. May G-d help that this indeed be the case in the best way.
It goes without saying that the running of the home in general, and in particular, the relationship between husband and wife, depend, to a much greater extent, on the woman rather than the man.
As is the expression in the Bible: “The wisdom of the woman builds her home.” This is especially true in the case of the “American lifestyle,” in which the husband’s work involves much anxiety and pressure.
Here, the woman’s role is ever more crucial. It is for her to see to it that the utmost peace and tranquility should prevail between them, through a maximum of understanding on her part.
Even when it seems - and perhaps, in part, rightly so - that the husband could have better qualities, one’s attitude should be that, taking in to account that marriage has long been ordained by G-d, it is as when one sees a failing in oneself. One does not wish to continue to suffer, but to seek a painless way to correct the failing.
This is even more the case as regards marriage.
Ultimately, it is difficult to truly know what the other is going through, or to gauge the effects of the difficulties he may have experienced in the past.
When the husband finds tenderness in his wife, and a strong faith in the Alm-ghty, they both see the entire world in a different light.
It becomes clear that G-d is the authority over the entire world, and, especially, in one’s own home and environment; thus positive feelings and joy in the home is increased. She will then see how this was ultimately worthwhile for her own self, for it has brought warmth and tranquility, far in excess of the “cost” in effort to forgo and forgive.
Hopefully, in regard to yourself and your husband, all these considerations are unnecessary, and your home is as a home ought to be - permeated with Ahavat Yisrael (love of a fellow Jew).
It is only because there is no limit to “good” that I assume that these lines will only bring you to improve on this peaceful state and understanding attitude. Your example of harmony and light will also extend to your surroundings.
May G-d bless you,
