Dr. Steinberg was doing his first set of rounds at the Mount Sinai hospital neonatal unit. He saw a notice posted in the nurse's lounge saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."
Dr. Steinberg pointed to the note and said to the nurses, "The last five are pretty risky, too."
David and Cheryl Rabinowitz were at their first pre-natal class. So that the David could get an idea of what it felt like to be pregnant, the instructor strapped a bag of sand to his stomach. As he walked around with his new bulge, David said: "This doesn't feel too bad."
Then the instructor deliberately dropped a pen and said to David: "Now I want you to pick up that pen as if you were pregnant."
"You want me to do it the way my wife would?" confirmed the David. "Exactly the same," said the instructor. David turned to his wife Cheryl and said: "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Rabbi Groner was in the midst of one of his infamous lengthy sermons when all of the sudden, a large plant fell over right behind the pulpit, crashing to the ground. Rabbi Groner turned around to see what transpired, then turned back to the congregation, smiled sheepishly and said, "Well, that’s the first time I put a plant to sleep."
"Meir's math teacher called him average. How mean!"
