Dear Rabbi Gruen,
First of all, many thanks for all your shiurim including those I’ve listened to on phone hotlines. I know many people have been helped aside from myself. Baruch Hashem my wife and I have a large family, and our oldest child is a bachur who is almost 18. He’s a good boy who does what he’s told, davens and learns like an average bachur, and although I feel he has the ability to shteig more, I don’t pressure him and allow him to relax and listen to (of course only kosher) phone hotlines when he’s home, and so forth.
There’s just one thing that really bothers me, and that’s his choice of friends. He prefers to associate with bachurim who are more casual about Yiddishkeit than we are, and doesn’t want to come across as a “chanyok” (too frum). Nonetheless, he does have a warm feeling for Chassidus and sometimes goes to our Rebbe’s tish.
Recently, he’s mentioned that he wants his own cell phone. He says that his circle of friends have their own phones. When he’s home, he has a cell phone available for whenever he needs it, but he wants his own one, and to be able to text with it, not just make calls.
In fact, he’s so hung up about this issue that he sometimes avoids getting together with friends as he’s so embarrassed about not having a phone of his own and is worried that his friends will find out.
Should I buy him a phone? Should I give in just because his friends have phones? Should I allow him a phone with text capability? And what about my oldest daughter, who is 16 — should she be allowed a phone too?
Thank you
