This week's parashah discusses זוממין עדים, which is when eidim testify falsely against others in beis din to harm them. If beis din accepts their testimony, beis din will deliver punishment. However, if the witnesses are proven to have spoken falsely, they are punished with the punishment they wanted to cause their fellow man. For example, if, with their testimony, they wanted to obligate someone to pay a thousand dollars, and they were proven to have testified falsely, now they (the false witnesses) must pay one thousand dollars. If they wanted beis din to give someone lashes and they were proven false witnesses, the witnesses would be punished with lashes. This lesson is written in this week's parashah with the words (19:19) ועשיתם לאחיו לעשות זמם כאשר לו, "You shall do to him as he conspired to do to his fellow man."
The Beis Yisrael zt'l says: If for trying to harm another, you are punished, certainly when one harms himself with his own negative, reprimanding thoughts, he will be punished for doing so. The negative thoughts knock him down and make him feel there is no hope.
This is a particularly important lesson to remember in Elul, the days of teshuvah. We check our deeds these days; we take stock and look at what we did right and wrong throughout the year. We deeply regret the bad and we strive to improve. But it would be a mistake if these thoughts of teshuvah result in one feeling that he is a rasha, and that there is no hope for him to return. About this, Chazal (Avos 2:13) say, עצמך בפני רשע תהי אל, "Don't consider yourself a rasha." The Ra'v Bartanura quotes from the Rambam, "Don't consider yourself a rasha because this can cause you to go entirely off the path."
Teshuvah is a fine line. Deep remorse for the aveiros is an intrinsic part of the teshuvah process, but never feel that you have no hope. Believe in yourself and in your potential. This is essential.
The holy sefarim say that when one does teshuvah, he should excuse himself before Hashem. He should express that he isn't entirely guilty for his bad deeds. For example, when he says viduy, he can say how hard it was for him to overcome the yetzer hara, and that the tests were overwhelming, and although he wanted to do the right thing, he failed.
The Noam Elimelech (Vayishlach) writes, "When a person sinned, he shouldn't make himself a rasha in front of the prosecuting [malachim], rather he should say that he is a little bit of a rasha, and he is a little bit of a tzaddik, too... He should turn himself into a בינוני (in between tzaddik and rasha)." One of the reasons this is important is because if he views himself as a rasha, he will lose hope, and he won't do teshuvah.
We learn this lesson from זוממין עדים. They are punished for trying to harm others, and the Beis Yisrael says that one will certainly be punished if he tries to harm himself with negative thoughts. We also understand from this that if one does the opposite, and he thinks positive thoughts about himself and encourages himself, he will be rewarded immensely.
There is a mashal about a clever thief who borrowed one hundred dollars from his friend. A few days later, he told his friend, "I already owe you one hundred dollars. Give me another hundred, and I will owe you two hundred dollars." He did this a few more times until he owed his friend three hundred dollars... four hundred dollars, and so on. Each time, he began with his refrain, "I already owe you this amount of money; give me another hundred, and I will owe you such and such." And he did the same to all the people in the city. But then the thief approached a clever person. He thought he would play the same trick. He said, "I already owe you a hundred dollars. Lend me another hundred, and I will owe you two hundred dollars." The clever person immediately understood where this was headed and said, "You don't owe me a hundred dollars. You don't owe me anything."
The yetzer hara plays the same stunt with people. First, the yetzer hara entices and brings a person to perform an aveirah. The next day, the yetzer hara tells him, "You already committed an aveirah yesterday. You aren't the great tzaddik you thought you were. You can do another aveirah today." This goes on and on until he falls to low levels, r'l. But when the yetzer hara comes to a wise person and tries to make him feel like a baal aveirah, he replies, "I didn't sin yesterday. I don't know what you are talking about. I am a tzaddik..." and in this manner, he frees himself from the yetzer hara and from performing aveiros.
Chazal (Avodah Zarah 3.) say, שבת בערב שטרח מי בשבת יאכל, "Someone who toiled on erev Shabbos will eat on Shabbos." Chazal use this phrase about the reward in Olam HaBa (because Shabbos is an analogy to Olam HaBa). If you toil in Torah and mitzvos in this world, you will be granted Olam HaBa. Notice, however, that Chazal didn't say שבת בערב שהכין מי, that someone who prepared on erev Shabbos will eat on Shabbos, rather whoever was טרח, toiled. This indicates that Hashem only requests that we try and do our best. That is sufficient to merit Olam HaBa. This is another thought that one can say in his viduy. "I failed. I sinned. But I tried. I didn't want to sin. I worked very hard, toiled, and tried to do good. And since I toiled, I am not all that bad. I acquired that for which we merit Olam HaBa."
Avodas Yisrael writes, "Parashas Shoftim is always read in Elul, the time designated for a person to return to His creator and to attain forgiveness for his aveiros that he performed throughout the year. [His aveiros will be forgiven] because he regrets his aveiros, has thoughts of repentance, and has tears and mourning over his sins... The Torah commands ושוטרים שופטים, a person should judge himself, to check and judge all of his deeds. The Torah says, משפט תטה לא, that he shouldn't judge himself falsely, to say about a bad deed that it was good, because when he judges himself correctly, this will help him receive a good judgment on Rosh Hashanah. This is the meaning of the words צדק משפט העם את ושפטו, [you will be judged with kindness on Rosh Hashanah, and this is because you judged yourself correctly and honestly]. And this is the meaning of the verse, תרדוף צדק צדק. [The double צדק means that] if you will have an honest judgment below, you will have a good judgment from Above."
We can't lie. We can't whitewash an aveirah. We must be honest, admit to our shortcomings, and truly regret them. But at the same time, we can't allow our repentance to make us feel like we are reshaim and that Hashem doesn't want us and doesn't love us. Along with our regret should be the belief in ourselves, our potential, and our eternal connection with Hashem.
