The Avodah of Self-Renewal
Nefesh Shimshon | August 29, 2025
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The Avodah of Self-Renewal

Nefesh Shimshon | December 10, 2025

We will explain.

The issue of not just doing things out of habit was central to avodas Hashem as taught in the yeshivah of Kelm. R. Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm, asked why is it that we tend not to be moved and excited by the things to which we were educated in childhood – such as that G-d created the world, and runs it, or the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim and of Krias Yam Suf? These are exceedingly wondrous matters, but people just take it almost for granted.

The Alter answers that it is because we first heard these things in our childhood when our intellect was weak and undeveloped. Therefore, the knowledge and understanding we attained of them was that of a “feeble mind.” This feeble understanding then became a part of us. As a result, we go through our whole life with this kind of perception.

The first time a person learns בראשית ברא אלקים, “In the beginning, G-d created,” he is five years old. The next year he learns it again, and he does not see it as new. He already knows it. He relates the knowledge he is now gaining to what he learned last year. The same is true when he is ten. He learns it another time, and again he does not see in it something new. He already knew it when he was five! And so it is at the age of twenty and forty. A person relates the knowledge he is now gaining to what he knew when he was five years old.

If a person would be created fully developed with an adult mind, as was Adam Harishon, he would be so excited and moved by these things that he would not be able to contain himself.

If someone would come and take a simple piece of paper, fashion it into a plane with six wings, and then pull the tail, and the plane and all the wings would move, we would all be totally amazed. What a wonder! Yet when a person walks out the door of his house, he sees on the ground an ant with six legs, made not of paper but a live creature with a brain, heart and eyes. An entire world. All the libraries in the world cannot contain the great wonder that this little creature represents.

So why aren’t we amazed and moved? Because the first time we saw an ant, we were two years old, and we still go on with the perception of a two-year-old until this very day.

This is how we perceive all aspects of life.

Wonders of Nature

Let’s say a person goes into a store and wants to buy something, but he most unfortunately has only five dollars, and the thing he wants to buy costs seven. He feels bad. Whereas if a rich man whose wealth is estimated in the tens of millions will go into a store, even if he has only one dollar in his pocket and he can’t buy anything right now, he doesn’t feel bad at all, because he knows that his property is worth tens of millions.

We, too, are in fact extremely wealthy. We are millionaires!

Imagine a fancy camera that takes pictures in wonderfully live, sharp color. This camera is capable of working eighteen hours a day, seven days a week, for eighty or ninety years. Everything that the camera photographs is stored on a small film. There is no need to replace or add film. And the lens washes itself regularly in a special liquid that protects it from deterioration.

How much is a camera like this worth? At least a million dollars.

Each one of us has two cameras like this. Two eyes. And how much is a brain worth? And how much a heart? And how much a baby? If so, why aren’t people happy? Their wealth is estimated in the tens of millions!

Here is another example: imagine an elderly Jew 150 years ago describing to his little grandson what Gan Eden is like: you have a really nice house there, there is a spot on the wall that provides cold water, another spot that provides hot water. You don’t have to go and draw water from the well. And if you want to cook, you don’t have to kindle a fire. You just put the pot down on a certain spot, and the food starts cooking! And when your clothing gets soiled, you just put it in a special box, and it comes out clean...

Our living routines today are actually “Gan Eden on earth,” but we aren’t excited and impressed by them. This is only because we have grown used to it all. The way we perceive the eye, and the standard of living we have, and the existence of the sun and moon and everything else in this world, is like the perception of a five-year-old child!

Rote Mitzvos

The Prophet Yeshayahu protests this:

Their fear of Me was like a human command performed by rote.

Yeshayahu’s protest is not just over the fact that people perform mitzvos by rote. He says, “Their fear of Me.” He is talking about their yiras Shamayim! Even a person’s fear of Heaven can be by rote. It can be out of habit, without thought.

Our perception of Hashem, of the Siddur and the Chumash, could well be that of a five-year-old-child. This is indeed called, “those who are far.” It is serving Hashem from a distance of thirty years, from the time we first came to know Him. Only someone who “recently drew close to Hashem,” who just now renewed himself, is among “those who are close.”

Here are some more examples: Every Shabbos we recite the Nishmas prayer. If we would pay careful attention to the words we are saying, we would be filled with inner excitement.

The Chofetz Chaim once asked someone if he noticed that in the Hatov Vehameitiv blessing of Birkas Hamazon, we are asking for no less than 15 different things.

Are we aware of what we are saying? It goes like this: “...May He bestow upon us forever, for grace (1), for kindness (2) and for mercy (3), for respite (4), rescue (5) and success (6), blessing (7) – by the way, the word berachah stems from the word bereichah, “pool”, denoting an abundance of chesed – and salvation (8), consolation (9), subsistence (10) and livelihood (11) – by the way, even if a person has what he needs, he does not necessarily have the means for his own livelihood – and mercy (12) and life (13) and peace (14), and everything good (15). And may He never cause us to lack any goodness.”

Did we notice all these requests? If not, it is because we got into the habit of reciting Birkas Hamazon when we were still in preschool.

This is the avodah of Elul: to do away with the “rote,” to stop just doing things out of habit. To become like a “maiden,” like baalei teshuvah who recently drew close to Hashem. To awaken our affection when we serve Hashem, similar to the affection of bride and groom. To get the feeling of newness, to approach avodas Hashem as if this was the first time we approached the Siddur, to be moved by every halachah, every berachah and every spiritual feeling.

Renewing oneself is the power of teshuvah. It means being a completely new person. This is the avodah of Elul.

The Avodah of Self-Renewal

We will bring a few examples to illustrate the avodah renewing oneself.

Chazal say about the great merit that is inherent in Torah learning :

Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to Yisrael, “I sold you My Torah, and, so to speak, I was sold along with it.”

Let’s imagine someone sells his car for three thousand dollars. The buyer pays the sum and receives the keys. The buyer then turns to the former owner of the car, and says, “Now drive me home.”

The seller is a bit surprised. What does the buyer expect of him? But the buyer is insistent: “I paid you, now you have to drive me where I need to go.”

The seller retorts, “What do you think? That for three thousand dollars, you bought a car and a driver to go along with it?!”

Yet with the Torah, it is indeed so. When a person learns, for instance, the Gemara topic of “shnayim ochazin b’tallis,” he thereby acquires the Torah together with the Giver of the Torah.

Now, let’s understand the import of, “So to speak, I was sold along with it.” If a person would buy a car and the tremendously mighty Og Melech Habashan to go along with it, he would not have to worry about money for the rest of his life. Og Melech Habashan will get him whatever he needs. When a person learns Torah, and gets a hold on an explanation from Tosafos, or a piece from R. Akiva Eiger, he has, so to speak, acquired Hashem Himself !!

Here is another teaching of Chazal:

When a person slaps the cheek of a Jew, it is as if he slaps the cheek of the Shechinah.

There are many people who have heard and seen this teaching of Chazal time and again, but it doesn’t make an impression on them. Nevertheless, let us realize what this teaching is saying : when someone slaps his friend, who did he slap? The holy Shechinah. This should shake a person up a little.

If so, how does it happen that one Jew slaps another? And how can people keep on talking lashon hara, in spite of all the Chofetz Chaim’s books? Because we first heard at the age of four that we mustn’t hit our friend, or speak lashon hara, and we stay with this same perception.

Returning as a Maiden

This is the character of the month of Elul, the month of teshuvah. And this is the avodah of this month. Be a besulah, a “maiden”. A virgin girl. Approach everything like a new person who “has neither merits nor demerits.”

Pick up the Siddur as if this is the first time you ever davened. Go to shul like it is the first time you ever entered such a place. Give it a thought: what is this building? Who lives here? Hakadosh Baruch Hu!! And now you are going in for the first time to “meet” with Him.

We all recite vidui, saying : “Ashamnu, bagadnu, gazalnu...” Think about it. Ashamnu – I am guilty. A person is used to blaming others, but.... Then we say bagadnu – I betrayed. Did we ever think of ourselves as traitors? Gazalnu – I am a crook. Why don’t we shudder when we confess our sins? Only because we got used to it.

Think about the simple meaning of the words and reflect on them. Renew yourself, and feel like a baal teshuvah who recently drew close to Hashem. This is what teshuvah is about. This is the special avodah of the month of Elul.

We will explain.

The issue of not just doing things out of habit was central to avodas Hashem as taught in the yeshivah of Kelm. R. Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm, asked why is it that we tend not to be moved and excited by the things to which we were educated in childhood – such as that G-d created the world, and runs it, or the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim and of Krias Yam Suf? These are exceedingly wondrous matters, but people just take it almost for granted.

The Alter answers that it is because we first heard these things in our childhood when our intellect was weak and undeveloped. Therefore, the knowledge and understanding we attained of them was that of a “feeble mind.” This feeble understanding then became a part of us. As a result, we go through our whole life with this kind of perception.

The first time a person learns בראשית ברא אלקים, “In the beginning, G-d created,” he is five years old. The next year he learns it again, and he does not see it as new. He already knows it. He relates the knowledge he is now gaining to what he learned last year. The same is true when he is ten. He learns it another time, and again he does not see in it something new. He already knew it when he was five! And so it is at the age of twenty and forty. A person relates the knowledge he is now gaining to what he knew when he was five years old.

If a person would be created fully developed with an adult mind, as was Adam Harishon, he would be so excited and moved by these things that he would not be able to contain himself.

If someone would come and take a simple piece of paper, fashion it into a plane with six wings, and then pull the tail, and the plane and all the wings would move, we would all be totally amazed. What a wonder! Yet when a person walks out the door of his house, he sees on the ground an ant with six legs, made not of paper but a live creature with a brain, heart and eyes. An entire world. All the libraries in the world cannot contain the great wonder that this little creature represents.

So why aren’t we amazed and moved? Because the first time we saw an ant, we were two years old, and we still go on with the perception of a two-year-old until this very day.

This is how we perceive all aspects of life.

Wonders of Nature

Let’s say a person goes into a store and wants to buy something, but he most unfortunately has only five dollars, and the thing he wants to buy costs seven. He feels bad. Whereas if a rich man whose wealth is estimated in the tens of millions will go into a store, even if he has only one dollar in his pocket and he can’t buy anything right now, he doesn’t feel bad at all, because he knows that his property is worth tens of millions.

We, too, are in fact extremely wealthy. We are millionaires!

Imagine a fancy camera that takes pictures in wonderfully live, sharp color. This camera is capable of working eighteen hours a day, seven days a week, for eighty or ninety years. Everything that the camera photographs is stored on a small film. There is no need to replace or add film. And the lens washes itself regularly in a special liquid that protects it from deterioration.

How much is a camera like this worth? At least a million dollars.

Each one of us has two cameras like this. Two eyes. And how much is a brain worth? And how much a heart? And how much a baby? If so, why aren’t people happy? Their wealth is estimated in the tens of millions!

Here is another example: imagine an elderly Jew 150 years ago describing to his little grandson what Gan Eden is like: you have a really nice house there, there is a spot on the wall that provides cold water, another spot that provides hot water. You don’t have to go and draw water from the well. And if you want to cook, you don’t have to kindle a fire. You just put the pot down on a certain spot, and the food starts cooking! And when your clothing gets soiled, you just put it in a special box, and it comes out clean...

Our living routines today are actually “Gan Eden on earth,” but we aren’t excited and impressed by them. This is only because we have grown used to it all. The way we perceive the eye, and the standard of living we have, and the existence of the sun and moon and everything else in this world, is like the perception of a five-year-old child!

Rote Mitzvos

The Prophet Yeshayahu protests this:

Their fear of Me was like a human command performed by rote.

Yeshayahu’s protest is not just over the fact that people perform mitzvos by rote. He says, “Their fear of Me.” He is talking about their yiras Shamayim! Even a person’s fear of Heaven can be by rote. It can be out of habit, without thought.

Our perception of Hashem, of the Siddur and the Chumash, could well be that of a five-year-old-child. This is indeed called, “those who are far.” It is serving Hashem from a distance of thirty years, from the time we first came to know Him. Only someone who “recently drew close to Hashem,” who just now renewed himself, is among “those who are close.”

Here are some more examples: Every Shabbos we recite the Nishmas prayer. If we would pay careful attention to the words we are saying, we would be filled with inner excitement.

The Chofetz Chaim once asked someone if he noticed that in the Hatov Vehameitiv blessing of Birkas Hamazon, we are asking for no less than 15 different things.

Are we aware of what we are saying? It goes like this: “...May He bestow upon us forever, for grace (1), for kindness (2) and for mercy (3), for respite (4), rescue (5) and success (6), blessing (7) – by the way, the word berachah stems from the word bereichah, “pool”, denoting an abundance of chesed – and salvation (8), consolation (9), subsistence (10) and livelihood (11) – by the way, even if a person has what he needs, he does not necessarily have the means for his own livelihood – and mercy (12) and life (13) and peace (14), and everything good (15). And may He never cause us to lack any goodness.”

Did we notice all these requests? If not, it is because we got into the habit of reciting Birkas Hamazon when we were still in preschool.

This is the avodah of Elul: to do away with the “rote,” to stop just doing things out of habit. To become like a “maiden,” like baalei teshuvah who recently drew close to Hashem. To awaken our affection when we serve Hashem, similar to the affection of bride and groom. To get the feeling of newness, to approach avodas Hashem as if this was the first time we approached the Siddur, to be moved by every halachah, every berachah and every spiritual feeling.

Renewing oneself is the power of teshuvah. It means being a completely new person. This is the avodah of Elul.

The Avodah of Self-Renewal

We will bring a few examples to illustrate the avodah renewing oneself.

Chazal say about the great merit that is inherent in Torah learning :

Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to Yisrael, “I sold you My Torah, and, so to speak, I was sold along with it.”

Let’s imagine someone sells his car for three thousand dollars. The buyer pays the sum and receives the keys. The buyer then turns to the former owner of the car, and says, “Now drive me home.”

The seller is a bit surprised. What does the buyer expect of him? But the buyer is insistent: “I paid you, now you have to drive me where I need to go.”

The seller retorts, “What do you think? That for three thousand dollars, you bought a car and a driver to go along with it?!”

Yet with the Torah, it is indeed so. When a person learns, for instance, the Gemara topic of “shnayim ochazin b’tallis,” he thereby acquires the Torah together with the Giver of the Torah.

Now, let’s understand the import of, “So to speak, I was sold along with it.” If a person would buy a car and the tremendously mighty Og Melech Habashan to go along with it, he would not have to worry about money for the rest of his life. Og Melech Habashan will get him whatever he needs. When a person learns Torah, and gets a hold on an explanation from Tosafos, or a piece from R. Akiva Eiger, he has, so to speak, acquired Hashem Himself !!

Here is another teaching of Chazal:

When a person slaps the cheek of a Jew, it is as if he slaps the cheek of the Shechinah.

There are many people who have heard and seen this teaching of Chazal time and again, but it doesn’t make an impression on them. Nevertheless, let us realize what this teaching is saying : when someone slaps his friend, who did he slap? The holy Shechinah. This should shake a person up a little.

If so, how does it happen that one Jew slaps another? And how can people keep on talking lashon hara, in spite of all the Chofetz Chaim’s books? Because we first heard at the age of four that we mustn’t hit our friend, or speak lashon hara, and we stay with this same perception.

Returning as a Maiden

This is the character of the month of Elul, the month of teshuvah. And this is the avodah of this month. Be a besulah, a “maiden”. A virgin girl. Approach everything like a new person who “has neither merits nor demerits.”

Pick up the Siddur as if this is the first time you ever davened. Go to shul like it is the first time you ever entered such a place. Give it a thought: what is this building? Who lives here? Hakadosh Baruch Hu!! And now you are going in for the first time to “meet” with Him.

We all recite vidui, saying : “Ashamnu, bagadnu, gazalnu...” Think about it. Ashamnu – I am guilty. A person is used to blaming others, but.... Then we say bagadnu – I betrayed. Did we ever think of ourselves as traitors? Gazalnu – I am a crook. Why don’t we shudder when we confess our sins? Only because we got used to it.

Think about the simple meaning of the words and reflect on them. Renew yourself, and feel like a baal teshuvah who recently drew close to Hashem. This is what teshuvah is about. This is the special avodah of the month of Elul.

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Nefesh Shimshon | August 29, 2025