This week’s Parsha enumerates three types of people who leave the army, the reason being so that others shouldn’t take over what they began producing: 1. a newlywed who does not yet have children, 2. someone with a new house, 3. someone with a new vineyard. Why does the Torah state that the whole problem is that someone else will get what you started working on? We would think that it’s not so bad, as long as the children, the house, and the grapes are here. But the Torah doesn’t seem to care about how your effort affects others. The Torah wants the individual to remain Chashuv by being the person who started his undertaking.
From here we see how Chashuv is each individual. בִשְבִילִי נִבְרָא הָעולָם סנהדרין לז א The entire universe was created just for ME. Even if he isn’t needed, he is still Chashuv, since he is a doer. We don’t want other people being Rosh Yeshiva, Melamed, Baal Tzedaka, Baal Chesed in your place, because each Yachid (individual) is indispensable. The Torah is interested only in YOU! חַיֶיךָ קודְמִין You come first!
This is just the opposite message of the previous Passuk about the: רַךְ הַלֵּבָב soft-hearted person who must leave the battlefield because he causes others to be like him, where it seems that all we care about is how we affect others, and his incompatibility is disregarded. Some people need to be told that “Kiruv” and “giving” is everything, while others need to be told: עֹשֵּה צְדָקָה בְכָל עֵּת זֶה הַזָן בָנָיו וּבְנותָיו כְשֶהֵּם קְטַנִים כתובות נ א the greatest charity begins at home; i.e., when you just take care of yourself, you are the greatest M'zakeh HaRabbim and Baal Tzedaka.
